All the World's a Fanfic
by Himizu-chan
Summary: A collection of one-shots from my "archives", lots of random stuff including a somewhat fluffy camping trip, a chaotic baseball game, a guest appearence by the Wolf's Rain cast, Ryouko's computer going ghetto, and Karasu hiding some secrets... Complete!
1. The Introduction

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

Disclaimer: I own no Anime characters in this fic. The ideas are either mine, or my friends', or a combination of both.

The Introduction

In a dimly lit room, a teenage girl can be seen with her back to the camera. She is frantically typing away at her computer, although the camera is too far away to see what she is working on. Suddenly the girl spins around, jumping out of the chair and walking briskly away muttering to herself. The camera follows her, but she stalks into a room and slams the door shut behind her. The door is decorated with crime scene tape and photographs of various crime show stars and hockey players. The camera focuses in on the keyhole and the teenage girl can now be seen rummaging around in her room. Now that she is in better light, we can see she is a rather average-looking girl, with very stringy blondish-brown hair pulled into a messy ponytail. Brushing the wayward strands that have escaped the ponytail out of her face, she grabs a small bag, shoves a book, a wallet, and a few other things into it, and strides towards the door. The door is thrown open so fast that whoever is holding the camera cannot move fast enough and there is a jumble of disjointed images as the cameraperson and the teenage girl collide. After a few moments, the view switches to a new camera, and we can see that the former camera was held by a much more well-kempt teenage girl, and she and the girl she was filming are now arguing. They aren't alone either, for two teenage boys are standing nearby. One has long red hair and startlingly green eyes while the other has spiky black hair and cold red eyes. (And I'm sure you have no idea who these people are.) Finally the unkempt girl stands up.

"Ryouko, what the hell are you doing?" she demands.

"I wanted to see what you were doing. You've neglected your fics for so long…"

"Don't remind me," the other girl snaps bitterly.

"Himizu… I know you're busy… but don't you have all those fics that you wanna work on?"

"Shimatta, when do I have time to work on fics? No sooner do I get done with school, kuso, I'm also working to pay for school, and when I'm done with work, chikushou, I have so many things to do! Keep the apartment clean in case the parents show up, go home to do chores, go to family events, do more cleaning, run errands! And that's just what my parents tell me to do! Kuso, then my friends at school want me to do things and my friends at home say 'you don't hang out with us enough when you're at home, come home more' and I'm trying to balance out my life but it's very hard right now, and I'm not sure I want this kind of pressure!" The girl slumped against the wall with a defeated look on her face.

"Ah, but you're forgetting something!" Ryouko said with a grin.

"What am I forgetting? Oh, and did I mention that my one new project requires me to watch a lot of TV and movies and read a bunch of books? When do I have time to watch this TV or read those books? Eh, tell me that! Shimatta…"

"Himizu, you're still forgetting something."

"What?" Himizu said, looking even more exhausted, if that were possible. Kurama handed her a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, which she chugged in 2 seconds flat.

"You have your Prescious laptop. You are portable," Ryouko said.

"Eureka! That's true!" Himizu exclaimed, jumping up. "It even has a DVD player built in so that I can watch TV while working on fics even when my sister monopolizes the TV to watch stupid fashion shows, or my roommate monopolizes the TV so she can watch literally anything that is on! Seriously, she will watch practically anything and she gets me addicted to the most random stuff… But suddenly life is better!"

"Or would be if you weren't late for work. What the hell possessed you to sign up for 38 hours this week?" Ryouko asked. Himizu blanched and ran off, shrieking 'late late late!' at the top of her voice. A few moments later, a door slammed and the sound of a car being fired up could be heard. Then the car drove away, and the noise suddenly vanished as Himizu poofed into the world where she has to work. Ryouko shook her head.

(Just over eight hours later)

Hiei, Kurama, and Ryouko were hanging out in one of the many rooms of Animedom watching TV or reading. Kurama's ears perked up as they caught the faint sound of a car motor. "I think she's back," he said.

Ryouko didn't look away from the TV. "I trust your fox senses," she said.

"So when she gets in here, will you tell us why you called us here so insistently?" Kurama asked.

"You betcha," Ryouko said.

"Why'd you call us here so early anyways if you knew she was going to work?" Hiei asked.

"It gets lonely here when I'm by myself. Now that Kitsune has decided she no longer wants to be our friend, and we've totally lost touch with Saru, Himizu and I pretty much have the place to ourselves. Risu doesn't come here nearly often enough now that she's got an Xbox… So when Himizu's at work…"

"You're bored and lonely, so you need some companionship. Great…" said Kurama dryly.

"I don't believe that crap for a second," Hiei said, equally dryly. "You have an ulterior motive."

"Shit… how'd you know?" she asked. Hiei just glared. "Alright, fine, we're doing another fic."

"Goodbye," Hiei said, turning to leave. Ryouko tackled him and held him down.

"Uh uh, you are not pulling that crap today!" she exclaimed. "And Kurama, if you try to take off, so help me…"

Kurama sweatdropped and resumed his seat in a chair. Ryouko nodded. At that moment, Himizu walked into the room. She was holding a bottle of Mountain Dew in one hand and an ice cream sandwich in the other. She sat down in a chair by the couch.

"Ah, nothing like a snack after work… So what's up?"

"I had an idea for a fic that would allow you to post a bunch of random stuff you've been working on that are taking up all that space on your computer," Ryouko told her. Himizu stared at her.

"This has my attention…" she said finally.

"Well you know how you have a whole bunch of fics that you started, then decided that you couldn't carry the concept anywhere and now they're just taking up space on your computer and making you depressed because you know they'll never become real fanfics?"

"Thanks for making it sound so cheery, but yes…"

"And you've typed up all this stuff from your notebooks that you want to use in fics but you don't know where to use any of them either but you typed them up anyways so that you could have the illusion of making progress on your fanfics?"

"Still very insulted by the way you're putting this, but still on board…"

"Well why don't you make a random collection of scenes and short fics and ideas and things like that? Then you have something to post, you can get your ideas out there, and maybe draw readers into your twisted world?"

"That… is… brilliant!" Himizu exclaimed finally. "I have so many things that I could put in this thing! This would clear up my documents so much! And it would really boost my confidence if I feel like I'm making progress and posting things while I work on the really big projects that I have going on!"

Ryouko patted her friend's back. "See, that's what I'm here for, to make sure you don't become too lazy and discouraged! Come on, let's go comb through the fanfic folder!"

"And why are we here?" Hiei finally asked.

"To help us read through her random documents and help us decide what to post!" Ryouko exclaimed.

"Or is it to keep you company while Himizu has to be gone?" Kurama asked.

Ryouko sweatdropped and got a fake-innocent look on her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about…"

A/N: So yeah… that's what this fic is going to be. Random insanity. I have tons of random scenes, one-shots, outtakes, strange visions from my imagination or dreamed up by me with the help of my friends. There will be absolutely no coherence and the point is mostly to post things that I've written that are too funny to delete and too… I don't know, too restrictive I guess, to allow me to expand the idea. Or I just plain gave up on the idea. For example, this opening chapter was originally going to be the opening chapter for my YYH fic where I was going to make a Monty Python/YYH thing, but then I realized that Monty Python is way too visual. So I took some of the best scenes from that and put them in other fics and scrapped the idea, but I loved the opening chapter too much to delete it. The rest of the fic is the same way. I wanted to have something to post while I take a hiatus to work on my latest project. I hope you enjoy it!


	2. Hiei Fought the Law

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

A/N: I finished a short fic this week, woohoo! Now need to edit it and I'll start posting that as well! Been a while since I had something like this going, but I think now I need to take a short break from writing and work on school while posting things I've already got done. At least until I meet up with my muse to go over some stuff for other fics, mwa ha ha! Until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer:

Hiei sits down, his arms crossed, glaring at all the people watching him, waiting for him to announce the disclaimer.

Hiei: There is no way, in the seven circles of hell, that I am saying that freaking disclaimer for you. I have my pride, no da…

Himizu: (waves hands around in despair) Is there nothing that can make this fire demon budge! We need a disclaimer and we need it NOW! We're running on a tight schedule, people!

Risu: Himizu's right. (turns to Kurama) You're his best friend! Don't you know of anything that can make him talk?

Kurama: Well, he does get freaked out when we mention Yukina. But I'm not sure Ryouko-san would appreciate a crumbled room. You know what happened at Himizu's house…. (voice trails off with the dreadful thought)

Himizu: (cracks knuckles) Yes, I still owe him for that one…

Ryouko: (glare) I DO NOT WANT A CRUMBLED ROOM! AGAIN! YOU HEAR? I'll get him to talk. Watch and learn my dear amateurs.

Risu: This I've got to see.

Ryouko comes up to Hiei, hugs him, and nuzzles up close to him.

Hiei: (shocked) WHAT THE *$^&%#*# ^&%$ ARE YOU DOING?

Ryouko: sad puppy eyes) Why, Hiei-chan, don't you remember? You didn't want to say the disclaimer, so now I own you! I will hug you and pet you and squeeze you and I will rename you George. Or maybe Don John Hiei, you know, I like to keep the Hiei name…

Hiei: (O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Have mercy! I'll say it! Those freaks do not own YYH or any of its cast, especially me!

Ryouko: (grins) Very good, Hiei. And no crumbling my room, or I will call you Don John Hiei, capeesh?

Hiei: (glares, but nods) I really should consider becoming an assassin again.

**Hiei Fought the Law**

(Warning, this is the product of Ryouko and me on a major sugar high while listening to one of our favorite songs, I Fought the Law, by Green Day. Randomness runs wild.)

Ryouko, Himizu, Hiei, and Yusuke were sitting in Ryouko's room. Hiei was sitting on the windowsill, Yusuke was sitting on the floor looking bored, and the girls were surfing the Internet on Ryouko's computer. Ryouko turned to Hiei suddenly.

"Hiei, you wanna hear a song about you?"

"…" Hiei didn't look very thrilled, but Ryouko and Himizu took his silence as a 'yes' and launched into song.

"You fought the law and the law won! You fought the law and the law won! You fought the law and the law won!"

"No it didn't!" Hiei objected.

"Yes it did!"

"No it didn't!"

"Yes it did!"

"No it didn't!"

"Yusuke is the law and he won. So the law won."

"Oh yeah! That's right!" Yusuke exclaimed. Hiei and the girls ignored him.

"No it didn't!"

"Yes it did!"

"No it didn't!"

"Yes it did!"

"No it didn't!"

"Yes it did! You went to jail for it!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did! We have the prison records to prove it!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes we do!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes we do!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes we do! Here!" They held up the papers so he could see them.

"LIES! Those are fake!"

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are!"

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are!"

"No they're not!"

"Yes they are! You made them on Ryouko's computer!"

As they quickly closed the compromising Word documents labeled 'Hiei's Prison Records'… "No we didn't!"

"Yes you did! I saw those Word documents on the screen!"

"You can't prove anything… We didn't save them!"

"!" Yusuke laughed until he passed out.

"DIE BAKAS!" Hiei yelled, conjuring up flames.

"Bring in on!" exclaimed Ryouko, pulling out a flamethrower. They charged towards each other, but seconds before they begin to battle…

"STOP!" Himizu yelled. She handed Ryouko a phone. Ryouko took it.

"Hello, Dark Dragon Agency? Hi, can I speak to Double-D? Tell him it's Ryouko calling… Hey, Double-D! Listen, can you come over here ASAP? Thanks D-D! See ya later!" She hung up the phone. Hiei prepared to attack. "Wait! One more call?" She gave him her best puppy eyes.

"…Grr… Make it quick…" Hiei snarled.

"I will, I will." She dialed a number. "Hello, Pizza Delivery? I'd like to order a large cheese pizza and four two-liters of Mountain Dew. We want a PLAIN cheese pizza!"

On the other phone, Himizu contributed her order. "Yes, no peppers, no mushrooms, no onions, and no tomatoes!"

"No sausages, no olives, no bacon, and no ham!" Ryouko continued.

They finished the order together. "And especially no pineapples or pepperoni! If you put them on our pizza, we shall send you to hell! Make it snappy!" They hung up and exchanged high-fives.

Three hours later…

"DING-DONG, PIZZA'S HERE!" the doorbell sang out.

"PIZZA!" squealed Himizu and Ryouko.

"Holy hell…" groaned Hiei.

"My God… They must be on crack or something…" Yusuke said.

"You're probably not too far off… All that caffeine they drink, you know…" Hiei rolled his eyes.

Ryouko and Himizu stared in horror at four two-liters of Coca-Cola and a large pizza with everything. They then seized the bottles of Coke and begin hitting Yusuke and Hiei over the heads with them. "Does this look like Mountain Dew to you? This is as far from Mountain Dew as you can get!"

"Stop it, you baka onnas! We didn't do anything!" the two boys cried.

Himizu opened the four two-liters and Coke sprayed into the air, landing on the two boys… and nowhere else… o.O

"-.-# You are so dead…" Hiei growled. He emphasized his point by blowing up Ryouko's flamethrower.

"NOOO!" T.T cried Ryouko.

"The poor thing! Such a noble life… It died a martyr!" Himizu exclaimed, slamming the remains of flamethrower onto the ground. The flamethrower blew up again in Yusuke's face.

Yusuke glared. -.-#

"Um… oops?" said Himizu.

Yusuke shot his Spirit Gun at Himizu, she retaliated by throwing a slice of pizza into his hair.

"Booyah!" she yelled, pleased with her bulls-eye.

"-.-# You are so dead," Yusuke told her.

"I have more ammunition… and I have your hair gel…" Himizu grinned evilly.

"O.O NOOO, not the hair gel! Give it back!" Yusuke cried.

"…" She looked at the hair gel thoughtfully, then threw it out the window. "Fetch."

"O.O My gel!" And Yusuke jumped out the window after the hair gel. Himizu and Ryouko slammed the window shut behind him.

"You're kidding, right?" Hiei asked, unable to believe what he'd just seen. Ryouko and Himizu looked at each other and cracked up.

"Who's up for Papa John's?"

"ME!" chorused Ryouko and Hiei.

"I hope nobody looks outside when we use our authoress powers to teleport there. That could get awkward. Oh well, let's call them! But first… Our pizza was three hours late… Someone must be punished."

Himizu and Ryouko exchanged evil grins and rubbed their hands together eagerly.

Kuwabara was walking away from Ryouko's house. "Phew, glad I got away with getting their pizza to them so late. Last time, they said they would kill my beloved Eikichi and get Yukina to go out with Touya. How could they think that they could win against true love? I wonder if she called me…" He paused to watch Yusuke go flying out the window after his hair gel. "Now, time to listen to my messages." He turned on the cell phone.

"Hello, Pizza Delivery? I'd like to order a large cheese pizza and four two-liters of Mountain Dew. We want a PLAIN cheese pizza! Yes, no peppers, no mushrooms, no onions, and no tomatoes! No sausages, no olives, no bacon, and no ham! And especially no pineapples or pepperoni! If you put them on our pizza, we shall send you to hell! Make it snappy!"

Kuwabara suddenly realized that he had given them four two-liters of Coke and a pizza with everything, along with being three hours late. "Oh no…" He began to run away as fast as he could.

Still at Ryouko's house, the two girls could be heard yelling, "WE WON'T FORGET THIS, KUWABARA!"

"HELP!" he cried.

Fireballs appeared and chased Kuwabara. He ran into the sunset and the fireballs followed him. There was a loud explosion.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" the girls laughed. "Now, time for pizza!"

END!

A/N: Hope you guys liked it. Ryouko and I sure had fun writing it! If you have any suggestions for future randomness, tell me about 'em! I could always use new ideas! Read and review! Ja ne!


	3. Unveiling Karasu

A/N: Sorry this took so long to post, I had to edit it, and then I was busy with other things. I'll probably update Inside the House next weekend, assuming I'm not too busy studying for finals, then over my break, I'll be working with my muse and hopefully getting some work done on my other fics. Once those are ready to post, I'll be updating a lot more frequently, but right now I'm trying to update just often enough to remind people I exist, but not so fast that I have nothing left to post before the new fics are ready. It's a delicate balance, but that's why I'm not updating very fast, and I'm sorry.

**All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this chapter, although I do own the ideas, much to my dismay… My mind took a road trip that somehow ended up in the poppy field… Don't ask. If these ideas seem similar to others that you have read or heard before, it is purely coincidental.

**Unveiling Karasu**

A/N: As I said, this is the product of a wandering mind. Don't mind me… it started with a random thought that maybe Karasu wasn't a person, but a character… And this chapter was born.

**Karasu 1: Jack Sparrow**

A scene of the Dark Tournament is being filmed.

"I think you've finally lost your mind. If you come any closer, you're a dead man," Karasu told Kurama.

"CUT! Take five, everybody," yelled the director.

"Finally! Let's get some rum!" exclaimed Karasu.

"Come on, you have that every day. What's wrong with coffee?" asked Kurama.

Karasu ripped off a mask and wig to reveal himself to be Jack Sparrow. "Coffee? You'll never be a rip-roaring pirate if you drink something as weak as coffee!"

"I'll try some Jack! You know, they aren't paying you nearly enough for the humiliation that you have to go through in this show," Yusuke said.

"Tell me about it, laddie! It's getting so a pirate can't earn a dishonest living anymore!" Jack exclaimed.

"Why aren't you pirating anymore?" Kurama queried.

"I'm on vacation… the Navy's after me again. I thought it was best to lay low awhile, get a quiet little temporary job in Japan… Just my luck, I had to end up in this twisted Anime…" Jack fell over after being kicked in the head by Yusuke.

"Twisted Anime, why you…" -.-### Yusuke was pissed off.

Will Turner randomly ran in. "Ahoy, Captain Sparrow!"

"Ahoy, Will! What's up, laddie?" Jack called.

"Captain, the Navy has arrived! They've come to arrest you! We must set sail immediately! Hurry, Captain!" Will cried.

"The Navy? Blast them, how do they do it? Sorry chaps, but I have to hoist anchor and sail away! Been nice working for you though!" He dashed off, followed closely by Will.

Yusuke and Kruama sweatdropped.

"Do you wanna tell the director that he needs to hire a new Karasu?" Kurama asked.

"Not really… He got lucky to get one… Karasu is supposed to be in love with you, you should tell him," Yusuke replied.

"No way, not doing it!" Kurama said.

"I'll fight you. Loser has to tell him!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"You're on!" Kurama yelled. They started fighting.

"Look at them fight. That is awesome! Well, better go tell the director that he needs to hire a new Karasu…" Kuwabara said, walking out.

Two minutes later…

The set blows up. Yusuke and Kurama stopped fighting.

"Well, I guess that solves our problem," Kurama said.

"Dang. Just when I had you well and truly whipped!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Ha! In your dreams!" Kurama laughed.

They walked out.

Kuwabara twitched. He was in much pain after being badly burnt by the explosion. "Um, guys? Little help here? Ow…"

The Director muttered to himself. "How dare that stupid bastard leave, he knew how hard it was to get someone to play Karasu, no respect, that's the problem with these actors, they have no loyalty, damn them all, grr, I'll get them…" He continued to swear to himself as more things blew up behind him.

**Karasu 2: Sniper**

"I think you've finally lost your mind. If you come any closer, you're a dead man," Karasu told Kurama.

"Cut!" the director exclaimed. "That's a wrap, people! Luckily for you lot, that's the end of the Karasu stuff, and the Dark Tournament! Tomorrow, on to the Chapter Black Saga! Sniper, make sure you cut your hair!"

"All right!" Karasu exclaimed. "Finally, I can get rid of this stupid mop! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" He ran off to the dressing room, still laughing hysterically.

Half an hour later...

Sniper walked out of the dressing room with his trademark short hair. "Man, you have no idea how good it feels to get that mess off my head! The entire time we were filming that series, it felt like there was a giant raccoon on my head!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara started cracking up at that thought. Kurama peeked into Sniper's dressing room and saw a giant pile of hair three feet high. "My God… How long did it take to grow that?"

"About three years," Sniper replied.

Yusuke elbowed Kuwabara. "That… is a dedicated actor."

(A/N: Please someone tell me I'm not the only one who's noticed how similar Karasu and Sniper look…)

**Karasu 3: Kurounue**

"I think you've finally lost your mind. If you come any closer, you're a dead man," Karasu told Kurama.

"Cut!" the director exclaimed "That's enough for today people! Enjoy the rest of your day! See you all tomorrow!"

"Finally!" Karasu exclaimed, whipping off his mask, wig, and costume to reveal a very sexy ripped outfit. He pulled a giant tattered hat and placed it rakishly on his head. "How's a guy supposed to breathe with all this crap on? I'd like to beat up the guy that invented this character!"

"Are you all right, pal?" Kurama asked him. "I didn't mean to hit you with those rose petals."

"No big deal. I've had worse," Kurounue said, dusting off his hands.

"That Karasu is the most ridiculous character the writers have come up with yet," Kurama said, shaking his head.

"Tell me about it. I think they're just trying to humiliate you, me, and everyone unfortunate enough to be 'selected' (cough cough drafted cough) to play Karasu."

"On the other hand, his bombs are interesting weapons."

"Indeed. If he were a real person and not so… freaky… he would have made a valuable addition to our band of thieves and assassins."

"And yet, somehow, life goes on."

"So true."

"Cripes, people!" Hiei exclaimed. "Are you going to stand there gabbing all day or are we going to go get some ice cream?"

Kurama and Kurounue grinned evilly. "Stand here gabbing all day!"

Hiei got a huge tic mark and drew his katana. "DIE!"  
Kurama and Kurounue's eyes got huge. "AAAHHHHH!" they screamed, running like mad.

"I want ice cream!" Hiei yelled after them.

"HELP! Mad fire demon! Run for your lives!" the two demon thieves yelled.

(A/N: I was listening to a CD with Monty Python dialogue. I was feeling weird. If you know what Monty Python is, you understand. If you don't, I feel very sorry for you poor deprived kids.)

**Karasu 4: Random Fangirl**

"I think you've finally lost your mind. If you come any closer, you're a dead man," Karasu told Kurama.

"Cut!" the director yelled. "Ok, people, that's a wrap! Next scene, from Chapter Black, Yusuke vs. Doctor! Let's go people, move it!"

"Phew, glad that's over," Kurama said, wiping his brow. "What do you think, Karasu?"

"I think… I LOVE YOU!"

Kurama's eyes widened and he took several steps backwards. "What the hell? Karasu, that's only for the show! Get away from me, you scary gay person!"

"Gay?" Karasu yelped. "Gay? You think I'm gay?"

Kurama stared blankly. "Well, duh. You're hitting on me and you're a guy, so I'd say you're gay… Unless you have another definition that you'd like to spring on me…"

Karasu started tearing up. "Y… You… You think I'm… a guy?"

Kurama looked completely freaked out. "Aren't you…?"

Karasu whipped off his mask and wig to reveal… a fangirl! "NO! I'm a girl! And I love you!" she screamed, glomping Kurama.

Kurama started twitching. "You're one of THEM! NOOOOOOO!" he screamed, breaking away from the girl and running away.

"KURAMA! COME BACK!" the fangirl screamed, chasing after him.

Hiei shook his head. "They will do anything to get close to him…"

Yusuke's eye twitched. "I guess the director gave up on keeping the correct gender…" He glared suspiciously at the other people.

"What are you saying, Urameshi?" Kuwabara demanded. "Are you suggesting that…?"

"If he did that with Karasu, why not one of us?" Yusuke exclaimed. Everyone started freaking out as they imagined the many different scenarios from gender-bending comedies.

The director rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut your traps! I was desperate for another Karasu and she was the only one who I could force to take the job without resorting to physical violence. Everyone else is the correct gender! Now shut up and get back to work!"

"Phew…" the Cast exhaled in relief.

"HELP ME!" Kurama screamed, running past them.

"KURAMA-SAMA!" the fangirl shrieked.

**Karasu 5: Karasu… -.-**

"I think you've finally lost your mind. If you come any closer, you're a dead man," Karasu told Kurama.

"Cut!" the director screamed. "Take five you stupid bastards! I hate you all!"

"He needs to take a chill pill," Yusuke muttered.

"Maybe if you would stop firing you Spirit Gun at the really expensive cameras and actually learn you lines, he would be in a better mood," Hiei suggested dryly.

"Oh shut it. You're so full of crap!" Yusuke exclaimed.

Hiei got a giant tic mark. "Do you have a death wish?"

Kuwabara decided to attempt a distraction before there was bloodshed. "So, who's playing Karasu today? Heath Ledger?" He was promptly killed by all Heath Ledger fans, including the authoress."

Karasu wandered over. "What do you mean, who's playing me? I'm myself, as usual, just like the rest of you. Oh, Kurama…"

Kurama twitched. "You stay away from me, you stupid bastard."

END!

A/N: Well, that was fun. What can I say; I have no life, just my computer and my poppy field. But it was fun to write. Now I'm thinking I should try to cut back on the Mountain Dew… But I doubt it. But yeah, wow… I wrote this a long time ago… this was before Dark Knight came out, and before Heath Ledger died! (cries) But this is why I needed to make this fic cuz some of this stuff is seriously old. Read and review! Ja ne!


	4. Inside the Computer

A/N: I'm sorry I've taken so long to post this chapter! The last quarter was insane as crap, but I did manage to do some writing and hopefully I can do some more posting soon.

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

Disclaimer: I got this idea in math class and Ryouko and I refined it on the bus on the way home from a hard day at school. It was fun. We got a little weird after a while, but no surprises there, right? We do not own the characters, just the idea.

Inside the Computer

Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari were running for their lives. Kurama was running because Karasu was after him again. Mitari was running because Elder Toguro was out to kill him for being a traitor to Sensui. Hiei was running because he felt like running and this was an interesting chase… plus Kurama was dragging him along. The three boys were quite breathless and somewhat lost. They looked around frantically, Kurama and Hiei trying to find the energy of Ryouko or Himizu, knowing that the two girls hated Karasu and Elder Toguro with a ferocity and would do anything to beat them up. Suddenly, Hiei realized where they were, having been in the vicinity several times.

"Kurama…" he said. "You know that House of the Nutcases?"

"Sure. Why?" Kurama replied.

"It's near Himizu's house."

Kurama looked around sharply. Sure enough, he could see the House looming in the distance like a prophet of doom. "You're kidding!" he cried.

Hiei shook his head gloomily. "I wish I was."

"Miss Himizu will be able to help us, won't she?" asked Mitari nervously.

"Well, I'm sure she'll get rid of those pests… Other than that, she's of no use," Hiei replied.

"Somehow, she'll find out you said that, and then she'll kill you," Kurama reminded his friend.

"It'll be worth it," Hiei replied. He was hit on the head by a falling anvil. "BAKA ONNA!" he screamed.

Mitari's eyes widened. "Miss Himizu is very powerful."

"When she wants to be," Kurama laughed. "Let's go see if she's at home. And let's hurry; I think I hear our pursuers."

This was a good incentive, so the trio dashed up to the doors. Hiei's Jagon eye told him that the house was completely empty. "She's not here!" he exclaimed.

"She must be at Ryouko's… Do you know how to get to her house from here?" asked Mitari nervously.

"Well, I've done it once, but I was trying to kill Himizu at the time, so I really didn't pay too much attention to how to get there…" Hiei muttered under his breath. (A/N: See 'The Beginning' for that story) Kurama and Mitari exchanged annoyed glances.

"Let's just go in. Maybe we can lose them if we hide in Himizu's house," Kurama suggested. "And even if we can't lose them, I'm sure she has some nice weapons or explosive items that we can use on Karasu and Elder Toguro."

So the three boys entered Himizu's house. As they explored, they saw her computer, its screen dark, but humming slightly as it waited for Himizu to return and wear her fingers to the bone typing the insane randomness of her twisted brain. Next to it sat a printer plus scanner. Hiei looked at it curiously and started pressing buttons and tapping it. Next to the printer sat several drawings made by Himizu and Ryouko. Hiei then began to wiggle the mouse. The computer buzzed to life and the three boys saw the pictures displayed on the monitor. Himizu's email was open and in the History folder sat a message with all the pictures and a short note saying 'Here's something for us to do when I come over today. See you in a bit!' Hiei quickly became bored and started playing with the printer again. Kurama turned and saw what Hiei was doing.

"Hiei, leave that alone!" he cried. But even as the words left his mouth, Hiei pressed the 'scan' button. An eerie green light filled the room and the three boys threw up their hands to shield their eyes. Then they felt a strong pull. Resistance was useless, like a black hole the scanner sucked them into Himizu's computer. They walked slowly around the screen, completely stunned by the twist of fate that had shoved them into the world of the computer. Kurama began to study the surrounding area with care, Mitari started flipping idly through Himizu's collection of music, and Hiei slipped into Himizu's pictures. Knowing how carefully and meticulously she organized them, it gave him great pleasure to shuffle the pictures and move them from one folder to another until the careful filing system was in ruins. Kurama was about to reprimand the fire demon when he saw a horrible sight staring into the computer screen at him. It was Karasu. And Elder Toguro was with him.

Kurama gave a yelp of panic and hid in Himizu's mailbox. Mitari paused only to turn off the music, then he followed suit. Hiei followed also, because he was evil and wanted to read Himizu's emails. Then they all saw a pointed arrow bearing down on them. All three jumped out of the way, but the arrow kept coming. Elder Toguro, with an expression of fiendish delight on his face, was moving the mouse, trying to poke the three boys. As they ran, Kurama accidentally hit the 'Send' button on the email. Suddenly they were sucked into a hole in cyberspace and were flying through a tunnel. All around them was a humming noise and a multitude of computer codes carrying information all over the world.

"Where the hell are we going?" yelled Hiei.

"How am I supposed to know?" Kurama screamed back.

"Well, you're the one that hit the button!" Hiei shouted.

Mitari covered his ears miserably. "Are all demons as noisy as you two?" he wondered. The two said demons glared at the human, but the realization that they were traveling down an Internet superhighway was slightly distracting. They veered off down several tunnels, finally focusing in on one particular tunnel. The invisible force that had been sucking them along suddenly stopped as though they had run into a wall. A tiny pixie-like character swooped up to them and held up an odd little scanning device.

"What is this?" asked Hiei.

"Standard procedure. It's a simple scan to make sure you three aren't viruses. Of course, if you are, this will deal with you effectively." The pixie gestured to a giant Doberman that was snarling and straining at a chain nearby. Luckily for our three heroes, they passed the test and were ushered into another mailbox. Kurama pressed at the sides of the box, but they were confined within an unopened message. All around them, a creepy voice echoed.

"You've got mail! You've got mail!"

Hiei attempted to use his Jagon eye to see outside the computer, but it was proving ineffective. So the trio sat silent and tense, waiting and listening. Then they heard voices talking and laughing outside the computer. Two distinct female voices were laughing and chattering nearby.

"And then we should paint Karasu pink and pin him to a wall and throw stuff at him!"

"Yeah, and while we're at it, we could tie Hiei's hair into pigtails!"

Hiei twitched and the two female voices began to laugh hysterically. Then the one that had suggested the pigtails gave a squeal of pain.

"Ow! What was that for?" she cried.

"Baka! You leave my Hiei-chan's hair alone! How would you like it if I did that to your Mitari?"

"NOOO! Mitari-kun! Don't you dare!"

"Then keep your paws away from my Hiei. Grr…"

"Make me!"

"I will! Catfight!"

Sounds of combat floated in to reach the ears of the three boys. Kurama sweatdropped.

"Well, somehow or other, we ended up in Ryouko's computer…"

"Great. Now we just have to wait for Miss Ryouko to check her email and then we'll be free!" exclaimed Mitari optimistically.

Hiei shook his head in pity. "Those knuckleheads? It could be hours before they even notice that there's an email for Ryouko. We're sitting ducks if Karasu or Elder Toguro shows up."

As he spoke, the computer suddenly screamed, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL YOU STUPID BAKA!"

Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari all winced in pain as the echoes reverberated through their ears. They all heard Ryouko's reply.

"STUPID BAKA COMPUTER! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FIGHTING HERE?"

"WHO CARES! YOU'VE GOT MAIL, DAMNIT!" the computer replied.

"Grr… Fine. Shut the hell up. I'm coming."

The little pointy arrow came swooping in, and hit the Open button. A text message appeared. Ryouko and Himizu read it, completely stunned. It read: "Help! Let us out of this damn computer!"

"What the heck?" exclaimed Ryouko. "Must be junk mail."

"It says there are some attachments," Himizu pointed out as Ryouko's arrow moved dangerously close to the Delete button. "Look, one's labeled 'Kurama', one's labeled 'Mitari', and one's labeled 'Hiei'. Open them!"

"Sure, why not…" muttered Ryouko. She clicked the button to open the attachments.

The three boys appeared on the screen. As soon as they realized that the girls could now see them, they started jumping around and waving their arms frantically and yelling at the top of their lungs. The girls stared at the jumping figures with interest. They couldn't hear what was being yelled and made a logical assumption.

"Aw, look, it's some cute little animated gifs! They're so kawii!" cried Himizu. "Ryouko, can you forward them to me?"

Ryouko was now examining the message. "Himizu, this message came from you," she told her friend. Himizu was surprised.

"What do you mean, it came from me? How could it? I've been here for a couple hours and the message just came now. I couldn't have sent it. Maybe someone got a hold of my email address and sent you this. I dunno. But surely you agree that I couldn't have sent this?"

"That's a good point. Are you sure you've never seen these before? Maybe your brother sent this as a joke."

"My brother is with the rest of my family in Kentucky. There shouldn't be anyone at my house right now."

Hiei's eye twitched. "They should both go to hell…"

"On the other hand," Kurama said, "at least we're out of that email. There must be some way to communicate with them."

The three boys split up and started combing the computer, trying to find an escape route. The girls seemed to have forgotten all about them and pulled up Microsoft Word. They were now chattering away and typing their latest fanfiction, most likely involving torture. The boys, still exploring, found themselves scooped up by the Word document and suddenly stood on a sheet of white paper with a multitude of black letters sitting above them, balanced dangerously like black spikes. Then the girls started typing and the letters came racing down the page towards the three boys. Since they didn't want to get crushed or impaled by typed letters, they fled for their lives. This amused the girls very much, so they kept typing and watched them run. This went on for a while before Hiei got the bright idea to climb the letters like a ladder and he started climbing. Mitari and Kurama followed him and they perched perilously at the top of the document. As they considered their next move, a loud voice shrieked out,

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

"Again?" asked Ryouko. "Oh well, screw that." She kept right on typing.

"Unopened mail in mailbox… Initiating self-destruct…"

O.O "WTF?" cried Ryouko as Himizu fell over laughing.

"Self-destruct initiated… Five… Four… Three…"

"WAH!" shrieked Ryouko, falling over in a desperate scramble to open the mail message before her computer spontaneously combusted. But she managed it.

"Self-destruct aborted. You finally opened your email. Congratulations, you have a brain."

-.-# "I don't know why I let you live…" growled Ryouko, glaring daggers at her computer. Himizu snickered.

"Your computer has an attitude."

"Tell me about it," growled Ryouko, still glaring at her computer and making noises like an angry dog. "Oh look, Karasu and Elder Toguro gifs. Ugly! Himizu, these came from your computer too!"

"What the crap?" yelped Himizu, falling off the bean bag chair she'd been sitting in. "My computer has been contaminated! Must run home and disinfect it!" she shrieked, running around Ryouko's room, waving her arms and yelling like a mad woman. Meanwhile, Karasu and Elder Toguro had spotted their victims and were now climbing the letters of the word document, trying to reach the three boys. Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari fled for their lives.

Why didn't Ryouko do anything about this? Well, she was being entertained by Himizu running around her bedroom screaming about evil immortal mummy monkeys and psychopathic gay crows. Hiei rolled his eyes at Kurama.

"Yeah, they're being a REALLY big help."

Kurama didn't waste breath to reply. Then, luckily for everyone, Ryouko tripped Himizu, whose still-flailing arms were whirling like an out-of-control helicopter. One hand smacked down on the printer, which instantly whirled to life. In a moment, five pieces of paper, each featuring a different YYH character, was lying on the printer tray. After Ryouko beat up Himizu for almost hitting her computer and Himizu beat up Ryouko for tripping her, they finally examined the pictures. The ones featuring Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari looked surprised, but very kawaii; the ones featuring Karasu and Elder Toguro looked surprised and extremely ugly. The girls examined the pictures for several moments, then suddenly grinned evilly at each other. They took the papers featuring Hiei, Kurama, and Mitari and shook them hard three times. Hiei, Kurama and Mitari slid off the piece of paper and appeared in full-sized 3-D glory in front of the two girls.

"Konnichiwa minna!" the girls chirped.

Hiei glared at them. "How did you know that that would work?" he demanded.

"Because we are all-powerful and all-knowing," Ryouko said, nodding wisely.

"Actually, it's because we're highly random and thought it would be hilarious if you guys popped out of a piece of paper with your picture on it and we decided to try it even though we knew it wouldn't work, but this time it actually did work, which is really weird! How did we do that?" Himizu wondered, sounding thrilled. Hiei slapped his forehead. Kurama quickly explained the whole situation to the girls, who seemed to understand perfectly.

"Yeah, my scanner is kinda possessed… never buy anything from random demonic salesmen that pop out of random glowing green portals that say 'The Twilight Zone' on them…" Himizu said, a grin hovering on her face. Mitari and Kurama twitched. Hiei looked like he wanted to kill something. The girls then pinned the pictures of Karasu and Elder Toguro to the wall and proceeded to throw darts, knives, nails, rocks, and other hard or sharp objects at them. Then they cut the paper to shreds with scissors and set the paper on fire while dancing around it chanting in some weird language. The door to Ryouko's room opened.

"What is all this noise? What are you doing?" cried Ryouko's mother. Ryouko smiled cutely at her mother.

"It's Lag B' Omer, so we have a bonfire!" she said happily. Her mom screamed in horror and fainted. "Kurama, if you would please…" Kurama made a potion for Ryouko's mother and they dragged her up to the couch upstairs so she wouldn't remember the incident when she woke up and would think she had just fallen asleep on the couch. Then the three boys left and the two girls went back to Ryouko's room to burn effigies of people they hated, even moving from Anime characters to Shakespeare and Hitler.

END!

A/N: Lag B' Omer is some holiday that Ryouko celebrates in Israel, I don't know much about it except that you have a really big bonfire. (Shrug) And Karasu and Elder Toguro aren't dead; they're immortal and evil and will of course be brought back to be tortured even more at a later date. The part with Hiei reorganizing my pictures, I swear he does that in real life because my pictures always seem to be messed up. Curse you Hiei! Please review and remind me to post more stuff!


	5. Vacation in Lake Titicaca

A/N: Wow it has been a while since I've been back... don't really know what to say anymore, but whatever... I do still write, I have 3 or 4 fics that I'm seriously working on and a couple others that I'm playing with a bit... I'm hoping to have at least one of them ready to post by the end of summer but who knows... anyways, I'll try to post this more frequently than I have been considering that it's pretty much done already...

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters

Vacation In Lake Titicaca

Disclaimer:

We do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. We don't own a lot of things. But we act like we do. Just for the halibut. *Salutes the halibut. The halibut blinks.* He approves! The mighty halibut approves! All worship the mighty halibut!

(**If you don't get that, say 'just for the halibut' out loud, slowly. If you still don't get it, sucks for you. You're not special. :P **)

"SPIRIT GUN!" Yusuke hollered. A flash of blue light flew through the air and the demons that he was battling fell to the ground, dead. He looked around. Kuwabara had just sliced through his demon with his spirit sword. Kurama was tucking away his rosewhip, surrounded by chunks of demon. Hiei was sitting on a box wiping his sword and looking bored. Slices of demon lay scattered around him like very gruesome confetti.

Yusuke sat down with his back to a wall. "Man," he muttered, looking around the cluttered warehouse. "This is our fifth raid today and it's only noon."

"Actually, it's quarter after twelve," Kurama said, checking his watch.

"What's the point?" asked Kuwabara. "All we're doing is breaking into stupid warehouses."

"Because they could possibly hold illegal weapons," answered Kurama at the same time that Hiei replied,

"Because Koenma doesn't have anything better to do with us." All four boys sighed, feeling very bored.

"You know what we need?" Yusuke asked abruptly.

"A martini?" Kuwabara asked hopefully.

"It's not Miller Time yet, Kuwabara," Yusuke retorted sarcastically. "What we need is a vacation!"

"But Koenma is never going to give us permission to take some time off," Kurama argued."

"That would be true… if we were asking him," Yusuke replied.

"But we can't just run off!" Kurama protested.

"We can all choose a vacation spot," Yusuke continued, plainly not listening. "First stop, the shore of a lake with groups of bikini-clad babes there for the catching!" Kurama and Hiei sweatdropped.

Kuwabara jumped to his feet. "What are we waiting for? Let's get packed and go!"

"To Lake Titicaca!" shouted Yusuke. He and Kuwabara raced out of the warehouse at top speed. Hiei and Kurama followed at a slower pace. Kurama privately felt that no good could come from this plan.

"What the…?" gasped Yusuke. "Holy cow! Where the hell did you get that car?"

Hiei had just pulled up driving a black Mercedes convertible. Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke stared in shock at the sleek and shimmering vehicle.

"Did you steal that?" demanded Kuwabara.

"… That's Kurama's job," said Hiei.

"How did you get the money then?" demanded Yusuke.

"… All I said was that I didn't steal the car!" exclaimed Hiei.

-.-;;; "Forget I asked," muttered Yusuke as he, Kuwabara, and Kurama climbed in. The first thing they noticed was that Hiei was sitting on a pile of pillows and his feet were dangling above the pedals.

"How the heck do you drive this thing? You can't even reach the pedals!" exclaimed Kuwabara. "I don't want to die before I see some babes at the lake!"

"Don't worry ningen. I'm not suicidal. I won't kill you in a car crash. Now my black dragon…" Hiei grinned, sending a shiver down everyone's spine.

"But how do you drive?" demanded Yusuke.

"This is the latest model. It's equipped with all the latest features, including switches on the dashboard for gas and brakes," Hiei answered.

"AWESOME!" yelled Yusuke and Kuwabara together. The boys all buckled up and Hiei flicked a switch. The car shot off down the street.

"I hope you have a driver's license, Hiei!" Kurama yelled, trying to make himself heard over the squeal of the tires and the rush of the wind. Hiei didn't even blink. Kurama sank lower in his seat. "I hope you're driving so fast that the cops won't even see you," he muttered, mentally debating whether or not he could raise his life insurance.

"Lake Titicaca! Land of sunshine, water, and beautiful chicks!" yelled Yusuke, vaulting over the door of the car and landing in front of the newly rented lakeside cabin. The lake sparkled a brilliant blue and the sun shone down on the soft white sand. The boys raced into the cabin with their bags slung over their shoulders. Eventually, all four of them were wearing their swimsuits, were carrying towels, and were walking down to the beach.

Pretty girls lay on towels, sunbathing. Young children and families played in the shallow waters. Boys and girls rowed or sailed across the lake in small boats while others scuba-dived or snorkeled in deep water. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei were virtually unnoticed until a little brunette looked up. Her eyes widened until they resembled saucers and, as Kurama walked by, she called,

"Hi cutie! Do you and your friends want to sit over here with me?"

Other girls looked up and soon the air became thick with shrill voices, very much like magpies. Tossing their hair and fluttering their eyelashes, girls surrounded Kurama and Hiei, begging them to sit here or there, asking if they could buy them a soda or an ice cream cone, or just plain flirting with them. Kurama kept a polite smile on his face as he gently refused them. Hiei's face grew more and more set and his eyes grew more and more red and narrow. Yusuke and Kuwabara stared at their friends and their admirers. Finally Yusuke spoke up.

"Hey, come on girls. Don't stoop down to those two when you could have two much stronger, braver, and far more handsome boys such as ourselves!"

"Yeah ladies. Don't you want to have a handsome hunk that you can really count on, not like those two?"

The girls all looked over at Yusuke and Kuwabara, who were striking poses and flexing their muscles. There was a moment of silence, then the girls began to scream and they grabbed their towels and fled, feet churning up the sand. In moments, the boys' section of the beach was deserted. So the boys settled in to swim (Yusuke and Kuwabara), read (Kurama), or just sit (Hiei).

It didn't take long for Yusuke and Kuwabara to become bored. As luck would have it, there was an arcade nearby and the boys eagerly ran to play games and gamble. They took all the money that had been saved for the trip (by all four boys, not just the two vagabonds) and within the hour, had successfully lost about $200 apiece. Then they went on to lose all $6,000 that they had brought to pay for their traveling expenses. When they realized this, the two boys exchanged guilty looks.

"Oh crap. Now what do we do? We haven't even gone scuba-diving yet!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Yeah, we were going to dive for treasure! How are we going to get money now?" wondered Kuwabara as the two boys started walking back to confess their crimes to Kurama and Hiei. As they walked, Yusuke spotted some rope and two wooden posts. He nudged Kuwabara and they both sprouted identical evil grins as they looked from the posts to the rope to Kurama and Hiei.

"Yusuke, why the heck are you doing this? There are better ways to earn money… that don't involve tying us to posts like dogs," Kurama said patiently. Yusuke ignored him and checked the knots. Somehow, he and Kuwabara had persuaded Kurama and Hiei to come to the posts. Now Kurama and Hiei were bound to the posts by a length of rope. Kuwabara was trying to tighten the knots binding Hiei, but the fire demon was struggling furiously, blood-colored eyes flashing mercilessly, promising death as soon as he was loose. Now Yusuke was carefully painting a sign.

"What are you up to now?" asked Kurama. Yusuke grinned and turned the side around. It read:

TODAY ONLY!

Kurama and Hiei on display.

Signs of affection bestowed at reasonable prices.

Handshakes: $5

Small hugs: $10

Big hugs: $15

You kissing hand: $25

Him kissing hand: $30

You kissing cheek: $40

Him kissing cheek: $45

Kiss on the lips: $50

Photographs of him: $60

Autographed photograph of him: $70

Photograph of you with him: $90

Autographed photograph of you with him: $100

Lock of his hair: $200

Kurama sweatdropped. "And… um… where are you getting these locks of hair?" he asked nervously. Yusuke grinned and held up a pair of scissors.

"But what if no one wants the hair?" protested Kurama.

"Well, then you two got free haircuts I guess," Yusuke answered. And he advanced, scissors in hand.

An hour later, Kurama and Hiei still had all their normal hair. Quick talking by Kurama and a very persuasive argument from the black dragon convinced Yusuke and Kuwabara to go buy wigs that looked like Kurama and Hiei's hair and chop those up. Now they were open for business. Yusuke and Kuwabara nailed up the sign, put on top hats, pulled out canes, and began to read the sign at the top of their lungs.

"You know, no one in their right minds would pay your inflated prices for simple things like handshakes, hugs, or photos," said Kurama. Even as he spoke, the word was spreading and soon, girls of all shapes and sizes were waving 20-, 50-, and 100-dollar bills in the air and squealing happily. "I… stand corrected," said Kurama slowly.

"No you don't. They're not in their right minds. They're all insane," Hiei muttered.

Kuwabara and Yusuke looked at each other and grinned. Their moneymaking scheme looked like it was going to be a success. Already, girls were squabbling over the photos and locks of hair, or they were pushing and shoving to be the first to kiss Kurama or Hiei. And a constant flow of money streamed into the boys' hands. It looked like they were going to have enough money to last them the rest of their lives, never mind this vacation.

Of course, they hadn't counted on Kurama and Hiei's resistance. As Kurama's rosewhip thorns bit into the rope binding him, Hiei sent small amounts of fire to consume the ropes that bound him. As several girls scampered forward squealing about how they were going to kiss Hiei or Kurama, the two demons made their escape. They ran off along the beach, heading back to the cabin. The girls all began to scream and chase after them, while Yusuke and Kuwabara ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction, clutching their money. When the girls realized what was happening, they were furious. Half of them ran to capture Kurama and Hiei so they could receive their kisses and hugs, while the rest of them ran after Yusuke and Kuwabara to get their money back.

Half an hour later, the four boys met on a pier. All of them were carrying scuba gear. Kurama and Hiei glared murderously at Yusuke and Kuwabara, who looked very sheepish.

"Man, guys, we are so sorry that that's how it turned out, we had no idea…" Yusuke stammered.

"That's perfectly all right. We are very glad that the girls didn't catch you because now we can have the pleasure of killing you ourselves," Kurama replied, glaring at them rather icily.

"Hey, hey, guys! Can't you take a joke?" Yusuke pleaded. Hiei had pulled out his katana and was obviously planning a delinquent shish kabob, but Yusuke slipped on his scuba mask, turned on the tank, and jumped backwards off the pier, closely followed by Kuwabara. Kurama and Hiei followed without hesitation. At the bottom of the lake, they found Kuwabara, who was slowly turning blue. Then a soft crackle sounded in the two youkai's ears.

Kuwabara's unmistakable voice rasped out, "Can't breathe… Passing out…" And Kuwabara fell onto the lakebed with a thud. Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke (who had come swimming over) all burst into hysterical laughter. Then Yusuke swam over and turned on Kuwabara's air tank. The flow of oxygen quickly revived the orange-haired baka.

"How," demanded Hiei, "can you be so foolish as to not realize that you have no oxygen and your tank must not be working?"

"It's a fair question. Why didn't you just turn your tank on?" asked Kurama.

"I… well… ya see… er… because… well… the reason is… er… …"

"The reason is that there is no reason except that you are nothing but a great big baka," Hiei growled. Yusuke laughed uncontrollably.

A wonderful argument was promising to start, but the authoress is too lazy to write out an argument, so she decides to insert a distraction. This distraction comes in the form of a loud bubbly chirp. Everyone turned in the direction it had come from. Standing on the sandy bottom of the lake stood a small brown bird. It stared at them, chirped again, and walked away in the direction of several waving pondweeds. Kurama stared after the little bird in amazement. Moments later, a small parade of the same little brown birds came flying along in a row… Yes, flying through the water. Hiei twitched. Yusuke and Kuwabara screamed and swam away as fast as they could. Kurama, on the other hand, was fascinated. From a pocket of his diving suit, he pulled out a tape measurer, a speedometer, and a sharp knife.

"Are you going to kill one?" Hiei asked.

"NO! I need to study these birds! Why would I kill them?" cried Kurama, looking outraged.

"Then what's the knife for?" asked Hiei, licking his lips. Kurama glared at him.

"For notes," he snapped. "I will carve notes onto some wood." Hiei did a classic face-fault.

"Notes! What the $% do you need notes for?" he demanded. Kurama gave him a withering glare.

"I should think it would be obvious. These birds are known as Cinclus cinclus, or more commonly as dippers or water ouzels. They are known for their ability to walk and fly underwater. They use the water pressure on their outstretched wings and tail to stay under the water while they search for insect larvae or other small animals."

"… … … I didn't ask for a biology lesson, fox," Hiei informed the kitsune. Then he turned and swam away to amuse himself by trying to chop up random fish. Kurama seized a piece of wood from the lakebed and carved a series of shorthand notes. With his head full of drafts for his latest paper in a renowned science journal concerning these birds, he swam off to find the others. They were all gathered in an open space with Yusuke combing the bottom searching for hidden treasures, Hiei was still attacking fish, and Kuwabara was swimming in circles… *-_-?*

"Now what should we do?" asked Yusuke. "We're running out of air and I'm bored." Everyone shrugged. "Well, we have a bunch of money now…" Yusuke gulped as Kurama and Hiei shot him murderous glares. "Let's go blow some of our cash on a fine seafood dinner!" he suggested. There were no objections, so the four boys swam back to the dock to return their gear.

Sneaking along the lakeshore to avoid the insane fangirls, the boys finally entered an elegant restaurant. They ordered a chic five-course dinner and settled in to rip apart the flavorful fish in a manner that sent food flying through the restaurant and other diners flying out with screams of horror.

As darkness settled, a tall slender cloaked figure could be seen walking along the lakeshore. He stopped abruptly to stare at the restaurant. Elegantly garbed diners in tuxedos and evening gowns were fleeing, screaming about savages. The figure's mouth curved into a slight smile behind his light blue pacifier and he changed courses, heading in the direction of the restaurant.

Inside, food splattered the walls and floor, several waitresses had fainted, and Kurama and Hiei were wearing raincoats to protect themselves from flying food as Yusuke and Kuwabara gorged themselves. The four boys ate ravenously for over an hour before pushing their chairs back from the table and leaning back with sighs of contentment and loud belches from Yusuke and Kuwabara. As they rested, an ominous shadow fell over the table. The four boys looked up in shock as the figure glared down at them.

"You're supposed to be on a mission," the figure said coldly, stepping forward and glaring down at them with angry brown eyes.

"Oh shit… It's Koenma…" moaned Yusuke. The other boys winced. "RUN!" Yusuke bellowed. The foursome jumped up and fled, although Kurama had the presence of mind to throw some money on the table to pay for their meal. Then they ran outside along the shore of the lake with Koenma hard on their heels, screaming at them and telling them that they had to go back to work.

"Somebody had better come up with a plan really fast or we're all dead!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"By someone, you mean me, don't you?" grumbled Kurama.

"Well, yeah, you're the only one who can come up with a good plan," Yusuke replied. Kurama glared furiously, annoyed that he had to do all the thinking. Then he put his fingers to his mouth and let loose a piercing whistle.

"What didja do that for?" cried Kuwabara. "You almost broke my eardrums! I bet everyone within three miles heard that!"

"That was the idea, Kuwabara..." Kurama explained.

"But why…?" Kuwabara stopped talking as a thunder-like rumble met their ears. The sand began to bounce and the water began to froth. Over the crest of a hill came a mass of rabid fangirls carrying large posters of Kurama and Hiei, with a few pictures of Yusuke and teenage Koenma.

"Now we really are dead!" cried Yusuke, but Kurama had jumped into the lake and was swimming away. Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yusuke followed his lead. Koenma, still searching for them, kept running and was trampled by the masses of insane fangirls searching for the whistler. How they knew it was a bishounen that whistled and why they trampled teenage Koenma, we will never know. Don't question the insane fangirls!

The four boys reached their cabin, gathered their things, and jumped into Hiei's Mercedes, fleeing down the road. As they drove, they saw a giant, dark, shapeless mass of fangirls trampling the whole shoreline. They also saw Koenma dragging his battered form towards to the road, looking very much like Kuwabara after Shizuru had beaten him up. Koenma bellowed insults and threats at them as they drove past, but everyone ignored him, except Yusuke. Yusuke lifted his arm and made as though to fire his spirit gun. Hiei whipped out his katana and held it against Yusuke's arm.

"Do you want to bring that mob of fangirls down upon us again?" exclaimed Hiei, looking furious and scared at the same time. Yusuke laughed in his face.

"I know you're not going to chop my arm off, Hiei. You've had tons of chances to hurt me, now is the exact same thing, you're not going to carry out your threat," he said with a snort.

"You're right, I'm not going to chop off any body parts. However, if you persist in firing that spirit gun, I will personally kick you out of this car and leave you at the mercy of Koenma and the fangirls."

Yusuke slowly lowered his arm, eyebrow twitching slightly. Hiei nodded, pleased.

"Much better," he declared, grinning wickedly.

"I do hate to interrupt this pleasant conversation, but… WE'RE HEADING RIGHT OFF THE SIDE OF A BRIDGE HERE!" Kurama screamed. Hiei blinked and turned the steering wheel slightly to the left barely avoiding the perilous drop that would most likely have resulted in all their deaths. He looked completely unconcerned and even bored. Kurama twitched.

"I hate driving with you, Hiei."

"Thank you."

They drove in silence for several minutes. (Amazing!)

"Soooo… Now where to?" asked Yusuke.

"How about a bar?" asked Kuwabara. Yusuke whacked him on the head and he fell in an unconscious heap on the floor of the car.

"Anyone ELSE have an idea?" Yusuke asked, glaring at the baka and wondering what was up with him and alcohol.

Kurama's eyes sparkled as he pictured his dream vacation place. "I have a suggestion…"

The End!

A/N: This was supposed to be a whole series, with each guy picking a vacation spot, but I lost interest in the whole thing and scrapped it. But this was already written so I thought I might as well post it here.


	6. Fire Barrel

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

A/N: This is a really short thing Ryouko and I were working on that we thought would be funny, but it wasn't translating as well into a fic as we hoped, so we got rid of it**.**

Fire Barrel

Kurama: This is a fire barrel. This is Karasu.

Karasu: What did I do?

Kurama: (Not listening) This is Karasu in the fire barrel.

Karasu: I knew he loved me!

Kurama: Hiei?

Hiei: This is a dark dragon flame. (Lets flame go into barrel)

BOOM! (Explosion of flame)

Karasu: (Jumps out) HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!

* * *

Koenma: This is a fire barrel. This is my assistant, the blue ogre.

George: Hello :-) (smiles and waves)

Koenma: OGRE! STOP MUGGING FOR THE CAMERA!

George: Sorry Koenma sir! (bows repeatedly)

Koenma: He is holding all of my papers that I am forever stamping, as well as the stamps that I stamp the papers with.

George: Yes sir, I have them right here sir! Are you finally going to catch up on all your paperwork sir?

Koenma: JUST SHUT UP AND WAIT FOR MY INSTRUCTIONS, YOU IDIOT!

George: Sorry Koenma sir! (bows repeatedly)

Koenma: Anyways… Ogre, put them in this barrel.

George: Okey-dokey! Am I going to carry the papers around in here? That will be much easier than trying to carry them in my arms. I drop them all the time!

Koenma: Right… Shizuru, may I borrow a lighter?

Shizuru: Sure (hands Koenma her lighter)

George: What do you plan to do with that lighter Koenma sir?

Koenma: Oh, nothing really… (turns on lighter and "accidentally" stumbles and trips and catches the papers in the barrel on fire) Oooppss… Hehe…

George: (majorly freaking out) Koenma sir! Your papers! And your stamps!

Koenma: Yes, burn you wretched things, burn!

George: Oh this is terrible! This is awful! This is… Koenma sir, your father is going to be furious!

Koenma: (goes white) My father? Augh you're right! Quick, rescue the papers! Rescue them, I say! My father is going to kill me!

(George empties the fire barrel and the two of them try to put out the fire)

* * *

Shizuru: This is my stupid little brother.

Kuwabara: What's up?

Shizuru: This is a fire barrel. This is my brother in a fire barrel. This (one last puff) is my cigarette. (Drops cigarette into fire barrel)

Kuwabara: (Sniffs eagerly) Mmm… what's cooking? It's gonna burn soon. AAAHHH! IT'S ME!

* * *

Keiko: This is a fire barrel.

Genkai: This is an effigy of my useless dimwit student, who is apparently an equally useless boyfriend to this sweet young lady.

Yusuke: HEY!

Genkai: SHUT UP, DIMWIT!

Yusuke: MAKE ME, GRANDMA!

Keiko: YUSUKE, JUST SHUT UP AND LET US FILM THIS ALREADY!

Yusuke: Alright, alright, jeeze…

Genkai: That was impressive. Anyways, this is an effigy of my dimwit student and her dimwit boyfriend in a fire barrel.

Yusuke: HEY YOU BETTER NOT DO WHAT I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH THAT!

Genkai: SHUT UP YOU USELESS DIMWITTED FOOL!

Keiko: Anyways… This is a lighted match. (drops match into fire barrel and watches it burn the Yusuke effigy)

Yusuke: Jeeze Keiko, that's a hell of a way to break up with a guy…

Keiko: Oh Yusuke, I don't want to break up with you.

(They hug and kiss)

Keiko: This is just a representation of all the times you have royally pissed me off.

Yusuke: Yikes…

Keiko: Yeah, so watch yourself, you hear me?

Yusuke: Yes ma'am!

Genkai: You're lucky she likes you so much, I was in favor of putting you in the fire barrel instead of that silly effigy.

Yusuke: Bite me, Grandma!

* * *

Yukina: I don't understand what the purpose of this fire barrel thing is supposed to be.

Botan: Well Yukina dear, you're supposed to put into the fire barrel something, or someone, that annoys you or makes you angry. For example… um… hm… I suppose I would put people that have smart mouths and think they know everything into the fire barrel. Those people just make me… oooh! (gets a huge tic mark and clenches fist)

Yukina: … … …

Botan: But this is very impractical, so we're not doing mine. (cat face) Anyways, what would you like to put in the fire barrel?

Yukina: …It seems so painful to be put in there. Fire is so unpleasant.

Hiei: …

Botan: Well that's sort of the point. You put something in there that you don't like.

Yukina: But… I like almost everything. And even the things I don't like, I still don't want to hurt them.

Shizuru: You're way too sweet and innocent to be around the rest of us… (glares at Kuwabara) You better stay away from her! I don't want my baby brother to be responsible for corrupting this innocent girl! Got it?

Kuwabara: But… sis…

Hiei (muttering): I knew there was a reason I hadn't killed her yet.

* * *

Yusuke: (After burning his school uniform and getting slapped for it by Keiko) I don't care! It was still worth it! (sits down next to Hiei) So what are you going to put in the fire barrel?

Hiei: Hn.

Yusuke: Oh come on, I'm going to find out sooner or later, you may as well tell me.

Hiei: Pathetic.

Yusuke: Huh?

Hiei: It's pathetic that you ningens need a fire barrel.

Yusuke: Well sorry for us not having fire powers! (rolls eyes)

Hiei: And it's also pathetic that you want me to put something in the fire barrel. What do I need a fire barrel for? Anytime something makes me mad, all I have to do is use my powers to set it on fire.

Yusuke: But the point is that this is all symbolic and junk.

Hiei: Maybe I should put YOU in the fire barrel if you don't LEAVE ME ALONE! Stupid detective, stupid fire barrel, stupid symbolism… (continues muttering to himself)

* * *

Kuwabara: This is my mean and nasty and bad-tempered teammate Hiei.

Hiei: …

Kuwabara: This is a fire barrel. This is Hiei in the fire barrel.

Hiei: You have got to be kidding me.

Kuwabara: Just get in the fire barrel, shrimp! You have to do it cuz that's the point of this fire barrel thing!

Hiei: …Whatever… (rolls eyes and gets into the fire barrel)

Kuwabara: This is… hang on… anyone have a match or a lighter or something?

Hiei: Idiot…

(Someone finally gives Kuwabara a pack of matches and he spends ten minutes trying to light one while Hiei stands in the fire barrel looking totally bored)

Kuwabara: Finally! I mean… this is a lighted match! (tosses match into fire barrel)

(Flames appear but Hiei doesn't jump out or even look perturbed at all. He just stands in the fire)

Kuwabara: Hey what the heck? Why isn't the shrimp burning or screaming or hurting or something?

Hiei: (climbs out of the fire barrel completely unharmed) I'm a FIRE DEMON, you retard! You saw me fight Zeru. Fire doesn't hurt me. It hurts you though, correct?

Kuwabara: (runs away screaming) MOMMY!

Hiei: (rolls eyes) Baka…

A/N: See? Short. Probably a little repetitive too. I got tired of it and I ran out of ideas and I didn't like the way it was coming together so I junked it but I couldn't bring myself to delete the scenes I'd already written, so here they are! Hope you liked them!


	7. Time Travel and Living Gelatin Masses

A/N: Wow, just checked... haven't had a single review since chapter 3... this is chapter 7... not sure why I'm still posting this... oh well, only four left now that this one's posted, so I guess I'll just finish it and... whatever. Hopefully I can finish this other short fic I've been working on soon and I can post that and then maybe (Kami-sama willing) I will be able to post the epic fic that I've been working on for ages... hit page 75 yesterday, not even close to halfway done... it shall be my masterpiece... (starts laughing maniacally) Enjoy! Please at least consider reviewing.

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

Disclaimer:

Ryouko: (surprised) Oh, is it my turn already. Yeah, sure, uhhuh, whatever. Anyway, we do not own any of the YYH cast, and thank the Lord for that. When we get the money to buy them, we'll make sure Youko is tamed, Hiei has mastered the Dragon enough that it won't eat us, Yusuke stopped being a delinquent, Kuwabara gets a new haircut and style…

Himizu: And a new brain…

Kitsune: You mean he had a brain. That's news for me!

Himizu: (light bulb over her head) Hey, when we get the money, let's get a hockey player as well!

Kitsune: Only if it's Nikolai Zherdev.

Himizu: No, Rick Nash!

(almost everyone within a 10 mile radius runs away at the moment Himizu mentions He-Who-Must-Be-Named (Rick Nash))

Kitsune: Nikolai Zherdev!

Himizu: Rick Nash!

Kitsune: Nikolai Zherdev!

Himizu: Rick Nash!

Ryouko: -.-;;; (turns to Hiei) Want to go get ice cream?

Hiei: Heck, why not. If they're not done by the time we return, I'll use my dragon on them. (Hiei and Ryouko walk away as the constant quarreling of the two authors continues)

Kitsune: Nikolai Zherdev!

Himizu: Rick Nash!

* * *

Time Travel and Living Gelatin Masses: A Yu Yu Hakusho and Wolf's Rain Crossover

Four wolves were running through deep snow. Well, it wasn't that deep by human standards, but these were wolves, and they are much shorter than humans, so they were having a hard time. These wolves were on their way to paradise. What they were smoking when they decided this, the world will never know. But there they were, running around in deep snow and searching for paradise. That's all you really need to know, but I typed this whole paragraph because I'm random like that.

Anyways, the wolves were running, when suddenly some crazy old guy who'd had a little too much to drink earlier that day and every other day of his miserable pointless existence appeared and started shooting at them. This happened a lot, so the wolves knew what to do. They ran to the nearest cliff and jumped off it. Then they would run off and hide and the crazy old guy would go around swearing and shooting for a while before giving up and getting drunk again and chasing them again. Poor wolves. Stupid old guy.

So the wolves jumped off the nearest cliff and prepared to run for safety. However, this was the wrong cliff to jump off of because when they were still several feet above the ground, a whirling colorful vortex appeared under them. The wolves were unable to change directions in midair and so were sucked into the vortex, swirling and spinning through blurred colors that even Crayola hasn't come up with yet. Then the vortex closed behind them and it was as though they had never been there at all.

* * *

"Damn!" yelled Himizu furiously. "Why won't this thing work?"

"Well, maybe if we try to reconnect the fizzy thing to the red and blue wires and add that black one to the little orange box…" muttered Ryouko, staring at the mess of electronic equipment that the three girls had pulled out of some random closet earlier that morning.

"Won't the YYH Cast be surprised to find a working time and space vortex right in the middle of our living room?" asked Risu, looking quite overjoyed.

"Well, they'll definitely be surprised, even if it doesn't work!" said Ryouko happily.

"How about if we add that living gelatin mass that we found in the microwave yesterday?" suggested Himizu.

"You mean that thing that used to be a cherry pie but got covered in goop from the Almighty Jellyfish along with some radioactive material that promptly became more radioactive and made the thing come alive the moment we stuck it in the microwave to see if it would be edible?" asked Risu.

"Yep, that's the one!" said Himizu happily. Any rational person would have found that suggestion appalling and would have been terrified that these three girls even had a living gelatin mass in their microwave. Fortunately for this story, these girls are not rational.

"GREAT IDEA!" cried Risu and Ryouko together. They used their Authoress powers to teleport the living gelatin mass to their sides instantly and attached it to the wires. Whatever was in that gelatin mass much have worked, because suddenly the blank gray hole became a whirling vortex of color and light.

"I wonder where it's opened at…" murmured Ryouko, peering at the whirlpool with interest.

At that precise moment, four wolves tumbled out of the vortex. The girls jumped back with cries of surprise and shock, but they got over it quickly. Especially Ryouko.

"WOLFIES!" she screamed, diving forward and trying to hug all four wolves at once. "My wolfies!" she declared, glaring furiously at her two friends as she tied collars and leashes around the wolves' necks. Risu fell over twitching. Himizu, who also liked wolves (although not to the same degree as her wolf-obsessed friend), gave Ryouko her best puppy-dog eyes. Ryouko wavered, then relented.

"Oh, all right, you can have one I guess. But if you take the black one, I will brutally murder you and no one will ever find your remains."

"Oh darn, the black wolf was the one I wanted," said Himizu. Ryouko snarled animal-like and bared her teeth and fingernails. Himizu held up her hands.

"I was kidding! Don't hurt yourself! Or me! I don't want that black wolf, he reminds me too much of that bastard Tsume from Wolf's Rain." The wolf glared at her. "I want the white wolf cuz he reminds me of Kiba. Kiba was freaking awesome!"

"Okay, you can have the white wolf," grumbled Ryouko.

"YAYNESS!" cried Himizu, seizing her new wolf.

At that moment, things got a little weirder when the vortex spat out Kurama and Hiei. They looked around in confusion for a minute, taking in Risu twitching on the floor, Himizu stroking an elegant white wolf, and Ryouko happily petting three more wolves. The two demons brushed themselves off and stared at the girls. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Not you three again!"

"Who else do you know who would be messing around with time and space?" asked Risu, finally done twitching.

"Quite a few people actually, but you're the only ones we know that do it so persistently and have been so successful at it and actually have a hideout in another dimension," Kurama replied. The girls beamed. The wolves fell over in shock.

"So where were you guys?" asked Risu.

"Makai," Hiei said simply. Everyone nodded. The wolves looked confused, then decided it was none of their business, so they just sat there looking bored and annoyed. Kurama gazed sympathetically at them.

"What are you doing to those poor creatures?" he asked.

"They're our new pets!" Himizu cried happily, untying her wolf since Ryouko had practically choked him with the collar. "I'm calling mine Kiba cuz he reminds me of that one white wolf from Wolf's Rain. Kiba was the best! Then Hige! Then Toboe. Then Tsume… Tsume was a bastard. If I ever met him, I would kick his ass for being a bastard. Then he would turn into a wolf and try to kill me. Then I would run around screaming bloody murder until Ryouko saw him and tackled him and started hugging him because she loves wolves so much." She nodded and smiled like she had said nothing out of the ordinary. Kurama and Hiei sweatdropped. They knew they shouldn't be surprised since, after all, this was Himizu, Ryouko, and Risu. These girls didn't just toe the line of insanity; they had leapt over it a long time ago. And they were proud of it. The wolves simply looked freaked out. Ryouko and Risu didn't even blink. Himizu then lay down on her stomach and stroked the head of her wolf with a contented smile on her face.

"So, do you guys like my wolfies?" Ryouko asked as Kurama and Hiei observed the three wolves that were practically being strangled by Ryouko's loving embraces. Himizu stared at the wolves.

"I want another one."

"Why? They're my wolfies! I'm the one that's all obsessed with them! My wolves!"

"Ryouko… please?" asked Himizu, giving her puppy eyes. Ryouko scowled.

"I'll think about it."

Himizu was about to protest that, but Kurama interrupted. He was looking at the portal.

"That thing is so distracting. Can I disconnect it?"

"NO! OUR LIFE'S WORK! YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" cried Risu.

"Yeah, we've been working on it for all of five hours, we all know that that's the span of our lifetimes…" muttered Himizu.

"We're back here again? This house is evil!" Hiei groaned. "What with all those little doom minions you have running around…"

"THEY'RE NOT MINIONS!" Risu yelled at him. "After all, to be minions, you need to have some measure of control over them, which we happen to lack." Hiei twitched slightly.

Himizu laughed softly as she continued to stroke the white wolf's soft fur, paying more attention to the antics of her friends than to the wolf lying next to her. However she did notice that the fur was suddenly becoming longer… rougher… more hair like… She looked down and gave a startled yelp as she saw a young human male wearing a white T-shirt, a black jacket, and black jeans. He had long brown hair and was pretty good-looking, but only the Holy Duck knows if Himizu even noticed any of these things. When she saw that the wolf had turned into a human, she promptly fell prostrate before him, forehead touching her hands.

"Are you the Holy Duck in disguise? Should I be worshipping you? Tell me, O Great Holy Duck, what is my mission in life?"

Kiba stared in shock, eye twitching. Hiei kicked Himizu in the head.

"Your mission is to be a pain in the ass. Congratulations, you have completed your mission. You can now go to hell." He pulled out his sword to chop off her head, but Himizu had jumped up and was dancing around.

"I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED BY THE HOLY DUCK! HE IS PLEASED WITH ME! I HAVE BEEN ANNOINTED! I MUST FIND A POND AND BE BAPTIZED! TO THE CONSECRATED POND!" She threw herself towards the window, but Kurama grabbed her.

"Himizu, settle down!" he said forcefully. She blinked at him.

"Sorry bout that. Hello Kiba."

Kiba blinked. "How did you know my name?" he asked finally. Himizu gave him a patronizing look.

"Cuz I read your manga, dur!"

Kiba obviously had no clue what that was supposed to mean, but didn't comment. After about ten minutes of silence and random humming by Himizu, her head suddenly snapped up and she stared in surprise at Kiba.

"Wait a second… You're in Wolf's Rain… only… you're here… which means… that those three other wolves… are really Toboe, Tsume, and HIGE!"

Kiba fell over backwards from the force of her yell.

"Er… something like that…" he muttered weakly. Himizu perked up. She ran over to Ryouko.

"Ryouko-kun, dearest best friend in the whole wide world… may I please have another wolf?" she begged, giving her friend her best puppy-dog eyes. Ryouko glared, but gave in. Himizu chose the small brown wolf that transformed into the skinny brown-haired Toboe as soon as she removed his collar. Then Himizu, with a brilliance that no one who has known her insanity for any amount of time would have expected of her, pretended that she didn't like the little brown wolf pup as much as the thick-set light brown wolf. Ryouko, who was too busy and happy hugging the slim black wolf to notice, nodded in assent. Himizu slipped the collar off Hige, then turned right around and hugged Kiba again. Kiba froze nervously and waited until her brain wandered off on a different track and she then sat in the middle of the floor with a Mancala board and playing against herself, moving the marbles from cup to cup and singing random songs by The Police. Kiba tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at him innocently.

"What about Tsume?" he asked her.

"What _about_ Tsume?" she replied.

"Aren't you going to rescue him too?" he asked. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Do I look suicidal to you?"

"Yes…"

"…"

"If you don't untie him, Tsume will escape and rip out your throat," Kiba explained. Himizu blinked.

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Better than the alternative."

"Which would be…?" asked Kurama.

"If I ever untied Tsume, Ryouko would beat me to death with a spiked club, bring me back to life, shoot me with five hundred rounds of machine guns, bring me back to life, set me on fire and throw a few dozen bombs at me, bring me back to life, bludgeon me to death with the nearest normal yet deadly object she could lay her hands on, bring me back to life, tie me up and cover me with spiders and watch and laugh at me until I died screaming or from a heart attack because I suffer from major arachnophobia, cut my dead body into little bitty pieces, set them on fire, wait until the fire went out, put me in a blender and make a milkshake type thing, set that on fire, wait until that fire went out, stomp on me repeatedly and beat me with a hammer, set my remains on fire again, throw what little ashes are left into a pond, and then those ashes would dissolve in the water and evaporate and be sucked up into the clouds and come back down as rain and the rain would fall on a chicken and because chickens are retarded, it will look up and stare at the rain wondering what it is and all the rain containing my ashes will roll up the chicken's nose and down into its lungs and it will drown and be cut up and served as dinner to some snot-nosed bratty little kid and I'll end my known existence as food of children and it will probably a bratty preppy little child, which we all know is the spawn of Satan so indirectly I will be helping in the destruction of humanity by feeding Satan and his offspring all by drowning a chicken and freeing a wolf and angering a tiger!" Himizu then fell over twitching because she had screamed that whole sentence in one breath. Ryouko looked over at her mildly.

"I don't know what crime you were planning on committing, but that sounded like an accurate punishment. How did you know?"

"Because that happened to me once already, remember? The whole immortality thing where I had to make that deal with the devil who is really a duck who is really a poppy and must not be confused with Satan! Satan is the guy that's worshipped by terrorists and cult people and drug traffickers and psychopathic rapists and people who are in every way horrible and evil whereas the devil who is really a duck who is really a poppy is a wonderful and merciful being who has given me eternal life despite all the evil tortures that my psychotic best friend loves to bestow upon me. Get it?"

Ryouko and Risu nodded as though this made perfect sense. Kiba, Hige, Tsume, Toboe, Hiei, and Kurama fell over twitching. After a long silence, Ryouko suddenly got a look of utter confusion.

"Wait… where did those three strange guys come from?"

Cue Anime fall.

"Baka…" Himizu muttered, twitching slightly.

Ryouko continued to stare at the three guys. "Wait… they look familiar… it's coming to me… no it's not… Argh! Who are they?"

"Don't mind her, she's nuts," Himizu said calmly, whacking her friend over the head with a mallet. After a moment of swirly eyes, Ryouko suddenly jumped up.

"HIGE!" she screamed, tackling the brown-haired boy. He yelped and tried to get away, but she held on tight. Then she froze. "Wait, where's Tsume?"

Another Anime fall.

"God, I thought Himizu was the airhead hyperactive forgetful brain-dead idiot," Risu muttered. Himizu beat her with a mallet. Ryouko thought about that for a moment, then turned around and saw the black wolf that she had been throttling with a tight collar and constant hugs. Her eyes widened in horror.

"Oh crap… TSUME, I AM SO SORRY!" she cried hysterically as she released the black wolf, who panted for breath and snapped his teeth at her when she reached for him. He then transformed into a young leather-clad man. With a very twitchy eye and a very pissed-off look on his face.

"Whatever…" he snarled, seating himself on a chair far away from her. Ryouko looked depressed, then consoled herself by hugging Hiei who glared at her and shrugged her off.

"So… how did we get here?" Toboe asked.

"Our time and space vortex! Isn't it pretty?" Risu exclaimed, pointing at the still-colorful mass of light. It wasn't spinning anymore, since Kurama is a friggin genius and stopped it from spitting anyone else out of it.

Ryouko suddenly gasped. "Oh crap…"

"What?" asked Himizu.

"How are these guys gonna get home?" Ryouko asked. Himizu's eyes widened.

"Shit… didn't think of that," she said finally.

"I can tell…" Ryouko said dryly.

"You didn't either, or you wouldn't be asking me! I don't think, you know that!"

"Well, it was your stupid idea to make this thing!"

"No it wasn't, it was yours!"

"It was yours, baka!"

"Why would I have such a stupid idea like that?"

"Because all you ever have are stupid ideas!"

"You didn't think it was such a bad idea when I decided that we should make a mansion in another dimension!"

"True…"

"Or when we bought that kick-ass black convertible!"

"Okay, you're right…"

"Or when we messed with that one television so that it would only play good shows like CSI or whatever we wanted to watch at the time!"

"All right, all right! Not all your ideas are bad! But this one was!"

"IT WASN'T MY IDEA!"

"THEN WHOSE WAS IT?"

"YOURS!"

"MINE?"

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"

"WHY WOULD I HAVE SUCH A CRAPPY IDEA?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"I AM NOT! YOU ARE!"

"NO, I'M A JERK! GET IT RIGHT!"

"FINE! SOR-RY!"

"YOU BETTER BE!"

"I'M NOT!"

"WITCH!"

"FREAK!"

"I AM NOT! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAD THIS CRAPPY IDEA!"

"I WAS NOT!"

"WELL IF IT WASN'T ME, AND IT WASN'T YOU, WHO WAS IT?"

"RISU!"

"RISU, YOU MORON!"

"SHUT UP!" Hiei yelled, belting them both over the head. They fell over with swirly eyes. Then they woke up and started throttling Hiei for daring to harm them. Then they stopped and sat down and started thinking about what they would have to do to send the Wolf's Rain crew, along with Kurama and Hiei, back to their own times.

"Well, there's really only one way to deal with this situation… since we have no way of knowing how to get them back to their correct time, we are forced to keep them here with us forever and ever!" cried Himizu.

"Sweet!" cried Ryouko and Risu.

"Do you three ever think anything through before you start it?" asked Kurama.

"Um, no I don't think so. Have we ever thought anything through?" asked Ryouko. Risu and Himizu puzzled over this for several hours, and shushed Kurama angrily whenever he tried to interrupt them. Finally six hours later just as the girls had finished making a delicious-looking ravioli dinner with sides of garlic bread and corn, they turned to Kurama and declared that no, they had never thought anything through in their lives. This somehow did not surprise Kurama in the least, and after they enjoyed their dinner, he retreated to the library to research their problem while the rest of them played bowling and mini-golf on the Wii. The poor wolves did their best at the game but found the primitive technology confusing and ended up mostly giving up. Hige hung in there though and played several rounds against the girls while the other three wolves and Hiei sat and watched.

Several hours later, just as Himizu and Risu were getting into an argument over who had to go ask the fox if he wanted to join them for cake and ice cream, Kurama walked back into the living room with a stack of books, pages of notes three feet tall, and a smirk to rival even Hiei, which suitably impressed the girls enough that they sat down to listen to him.

"Your problem is simple. You need the time portal to open in reverse so that it will visit the last worlds it's been to so that we can all go home," he explained as he would to young children. "We also need to know the precise instant that it passes through the worlds we want. Now I need a digital clock, a barometer, several cables…" he listed off several items that he thought would prove useful. The girls called in the robot servants to find these items and soon Kurama was hard at work. Videogames forgotten, everyone crowded around Kurama to watch and possibly offer some help (at least Hiei and the wolves would, the girls were hoping he would fail so that they would have captives).

First Kurama hooked up the barometer, some cables, and a few other things to the portal. "If I've done this right, this should give us a reading of what happened while the portal was active. The digital clock will give us a timeline and all we have to do is put it in reverse and jump through when the barometer shows the correct energetic output."

"Hm… If only I'd taken some engineering classes…" Ryouko muttered.

"If only I'd paid attention in classes that might have talked about this…" Himizu mused.

"I actually took engineering classes and I don't know what the heck he's talking about!" Risu exclaimed.

Kiba was nodding. "This could work. Everything makes sense, though the tools he's using aren't very high-tech."

"Well excuse me for not having access to your amazing futuristic technology," Kurama snapped, bristling.

"That just makes this contraption you've set up all the more amazing," Toboe put in, hoping to avoid a fight.

Kurama gave the portal a slight jolt and the barometer started to move. At first the line was straight and dead-looking, then there was a small spike as it jumped to life, then a series of steady peaks and valleys, then a large jump, more steady peaks and valleys, then a very large jump, then more steady peaks and valleys, then a series of peaks that were very close together at varying heights, then back to a dead flat line.

"Okay, so where the line begins is after I turned it off. Where it starts to jump, it was on. This peak is where Hiei and I came in, and this one is where the wolves came in. This stuttering series here is where the portal was turned on for the first time and was calibrating itself. Any questions?"

"Sure, how are you going to reverse the spin?" Kiba asked. Kurama just smiled.

"You leave that to me."

Several minutes later, everything was set up. Kurama set up the digital clock so that it was counting backwards from 8:05.

"As you all know, normally this clock would be showing a time. Right now it is actually showing a number of minutes and seconds. There are eight minutes and five seconds on this clock right now. At 4:46, Hiei and I will jump through the portal into Makai. At 2:13, you wolves need to jump through into your world. At 0:00, the portal will self-destruct so that there are no more incidents," he added, glaring at the three girls, who got perfectly innocent looks on their faces.

"And you're positive we'll be in the correct time?" Tsume asked.

"99.3 percent positive," Kurama said. "And frankly, if I'm wrong, you're screwed because I won't be able to help you." The wolves thought about this but decided that even being stuck in a random time was probably better than being stuck here with three psychotic girls who seemed to enjoy kidnapping and torturing just a little too much.

Kurama flicked a switch and the portal whirled to life. They all sat perfectly still and watched the numbers count down. At five minutes, Kurama and Hiei stood up and walked to the edge of the portal. They nodded to the girls.

"See you soon I'm sure," Hiei said dryly.

"Bye Hiei-chan!" Ryouko called, waving to him. He actually nodded in acknowledgement but before anyone could comment on that, the clock his 4:46 and he and Kurama jumped into the portal and vanished.

"I can't believe you just let Hiei walk away like that," Himizu said in surprise.

"It's not like I can't find him again whenever I want to," Ryouko reminded her with a fiendish grin. Then she hugged the wolves one last time.

"I swear, girl, if you keep us from jumping into that portal…" Tsume snarled.

"I'm not a complete retard, I know you'd all maul me just for the fun of it if I did that," Ryouko said with a sad sigh. The wolves glanced at each other and walked to the portal.

"See you never again I hope," Hige said.

"Bye Tsume!" Ryouko called.

"Bye Kiba!" Himizu exclaimed.

"Bye Toboe!" Risu cried. The clock hit 2:13 and the wolves jumped and vanished. The girls sat still and watched the clock run down.

"Well that was fun. What should we do next?" Himizu asked.

"Destroy all of the notes Kurama made so that when we build the next portal he can't do anything to destroy it?" Risu suggested.

"I like the way you think!" Ryouko exclaimed, high-fiving the squirrel. They started to walk towards where Kurama had left his notes, but just then the clock hit 0:00 and the portal, the clock, the wires, and everything else connected to them exploded, including the living gelatin mass, showering the girls in living radioactive goop.

"AUGH! It's so sticky and goopy and… YUCK!" Himizu shrieked.

"EWWWW it's all tangled up in my hair!" Ryouko screamed.

"It's fusing with my skin and making it turn green! Cool, but not what I was hoping for!" Risu exclaimed.

"Ugh, ugh, ugh! Decontamination showers, on the double!" Himizu yelled, and the three girls ran for their decontamination showers to rid themselves of the goop. Meanwhile the robot servants cleaned and decontaminated the living room, while one of them cleaned and hid Kurama's notes in a fox-approved location. And also, the Wolf's Rain wolves made it back safely.

Somewhere in Makai…

"So do you think that getting covered with their living gelatin mass will be enough to distract them while that robot you reprogrammed hides your notes?" Hiei asked.

"I imagine so. They're insane, but they're still rational enough to not like being covered in radioactive goop," Kurama said.

"You're a genius."

"Thank you, I'm well aware," Kurama said with a smug smile.

"Ego… out of control…" Hiei muttered. Kurama snorted and the two demons glared at each other and considered sparring before realizing that they really needed to get back to hunting the demons they'd been sent after before they'd been interrupted.

A/N: This fic was originally supposed to be a long fic involving time-hopping and other insane stuff but then I started working on a different fic that involved going to different worlds in books and animes and movies and etc. and I decided I didn't want to work on two time-hopping/world-hopping fics at the same time, so I looked at the two fics and made the painful decision of which one to get rid of and this one got the axe. But I'd already written most of the first chapter and I thought it was hilarious so I just changed up the ending a little and reworked it into a one-shot and stuck it here in this fic instead! I love how this fic is solving so many of my problems.


	8. Take Me Out to the Ballgame

A/N: This was originally supposed to be either a really long one-shot or a reasonably short fic broken up into five chapters or less, but I hit a combination of running out of ideas and thinking it was too repetitive and if I tried to drag it out, it would have been really boring. But I think that what I did write for it is funny, so here it is.

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

"What is this thing that you ningens call baseball?" asked Hiei, treating the occupants of the room to his patented death glare.

"It's a really neat sport!" Yusuke exclaimed. "And the food is incredible!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara had come barging into Kurama's house announcing that they had managed to buy eleven tickets to an exhibition baseball game that was in town. They had promptly invited Kurama, Hiei, Keiko, Shizuru, Genkai, Botan, and Yukina. Botan invited Koenma (to Yusuke's dismay), and Koenma forced George to come along. So they were all gathered in Kurama's living room. Hiei shook his head, unconvinced.

"Ryouko told me the worst hotdog she ever had was one at a baseball game," he retorted.

"Then don't eat the hotdog, man!" exclaimed Kuwabara. "Come on Shorty, I know you didn't have a childhood, but that's no reason not to have fun now!"

Hiei's eyes narrowed and he touched his katana. "And what do the rest of you, besides the two bakas, think about this…baseball?" he asked, still not understanding the point of this ridiculous ningen sport.

Koenma, George, Botan, and Yukina all shrugged. Like Hiei, they had never seen a baseball game before. Genkai smirked.

"It's fun to play in videogame format. It's even more fun to play against Yusuke with my back to the T.V. and with only the use of my thumbs. I think the last time we played; I beat him by about a hundred runs. We only stopped because the game blew up. Apparently you're not allowed to score more than one hundred runs in one game." She shrugged, frowning slightly. Everyone stared with huge eyes, first at the calm wizard of videogames, then at Yusuke, who looked very embarrassed and ticked off. Then everyone pointed and laughed at Yusuke. Then they pointed and laughed at Kuwabara because he had been pointing and laughing at the wall. And life was good.

Keiko thought that baseball games were fun. Shizuru shrugged.

"They're kind of boring, unless the pitcher hits the batter with the ball and the batter charges the pitcher and the catcher tackles the batter from behind and then all the team members come pouring out and they start fighting." She smiled. Everyone else sweatdropped.

"And what do you think, fox?" asked Hiei, shifting his glare to the one person in the room who hadn't offered an opinion. A faint smile slid onto Kurama's face as he finally pulled his hand out of a desk drawer. He was clutching a small book labeled 'Stats' in Kurama's precise handwriting.

"Baseball…the most statistical sport in the world," he said calmly. Everyone fell over. Kurama blinked. Then he tucked the book into his shirt pocket and seized some money. Then they all trooped off to the game.

The actual walking to the game went without incident, but as soon as they tried to walk into the stadium, Hiei set off the security alarm. Yes folks, Hiei had brought his katana to the baseball game and security being what it is nowadays, Hiei was immediately labeled as a terrorist and a SWAT team was called in to subdue and arrest this dangerous threat to civilization. But Hiei, being the devious littler stinker that he is, decided not to follow the traditional laws and proceeded to use his Jagon eye on the security, the SWAT team, and all the nearby fans that had seen the incident with the exception of his ten friend-type persons. And they were able to proceed into the stadium without further issues.

Now in Houston, they have a stadium with a giant retractable roof that can be closed if it's raining and opened if it's sunny out, but no one else is that lucky in the United States and they're certainly not that lucky in Japan. We have the beautiful open-air stadium equipped with fresh air mingled with the scent of popcorn and exhaust (cough, gag), the lovely sunshine (it looks like rain), and the birds singing (can you say bird-crap on the seats?). Yes, it was a perfect day for a baseball game and our characters have front row seats on the first base line. And life is good…or it would be if they weren't surrounded by little old ladies feeding peanuts to pigeons (there are parks for that, ya' know!), squalling fangirls (poor Kurama and Hiei), and beer-swigging, leather jacket-wearing, tattoo-sporting, cigarette-smoking motorcycle dudes! Oh yes, life is a wonderful thing.

It didn't take long for the fun to start. First the pigeons started landing on Yusuke, which the old ladies thought was just precious. Then they wanted to take photos of Yusuke and exclaim over how cute he was with all those pigeons on him. So poor Yusuke was forced to sit there while those sweet old ladies chirped and cooed just like their pigeons. Genkai chipped in by sprinkling peanuts in Yusuke's hair. Then she and the other old ladies seized Koenma and Kuwabara and made them pigeon bait as well.

Now these four weren't the only ones having fun. Kurama and Hiei were hiding behind giant newspapers, hoping that the fangirls wouldn't notice them. Meanwhile, George was hidden beneath a long trench coat and a wide-brimmed hat. He was trying to engage the fangirls in conversation (poor soul…all those whacks from Koenma must have scrambled his brain).

And what was happening to Keiko, Shizuru, Yukina, and Botan? You don't wanna' know (is hit on the head with random objects). Fine! They've been taken prisoner by Martians and are on their way to Pluto to be sex slaves (is now being menaced with lots of pointy things). Fine! They're at the stadium. About to be molested by beer-swigging, leather jacket-wearing, tattoo-sporting, cigarette-smoking motorcycle dudes, but they're going to enjoy that.

Anywho, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Koenma, Kurama, and Hiei simultaneously noticed the girls' dilemma and went to rescue them. The fangirls saw Kurama and Hiei and went wild. The old ladies were furious because their subjects had run off. So the fangirls came charging with their cameras, autograph books, and chains. The old ladies came charging with their canes, umbrellas, and purses. And the motorcycle dudes started waving their beer bottles around and bellowing like drunken ogres. And the battle of the century began. The YYH cast decided not to get involved and they slipped unobtrusively to the fringes of the battleground. Security came running. As they passed, they bowed to Hiei. Everyone stared at Hiei.

"Why'd they bow to you?" Koenma asked. Hiei grinned evilly and everyone saw the glow on his forehead. Comprehension dawned and Koenma began lecturing them about not using demonic powers and keeping their cover as ordinary humans. Hiei cast his eyes over George in his trench coat and floppy hat, then over Koenma in his flowing cape with his 'Jr' stamp on the forehead and the pacifier in his mouth. His lips curled scornfully. Koenma's eyes narrowed and he looked ready to forget the Reiki laws and kill the undersized fire demon, but Kurama pointed out that their row had been cleared up and that all the fangirls, old ladies, and beer-swigging, leather jacket-wearing, tattoo-sporting, cigarette-smoking motorcycle dudes had been arrested. As the gang resumed their seats, a voice echoed through the stadium.

"Welcome, baseball fans, to the first exhibition game of the season! Tonight, we have the celebrated Kurama Rangers vs. the esteemed Hiei Cavaliers!" The audience went wild.

"Now, the lineup for the Rangers! Pitching: Kurama 1! Catching: Kurama 2! First base: Kurama 3! Second base: Kurama 4! Shortstop: Kurama 5! Third base: Kurama 6! Left field: Kurama 7! Center field: Kurama 8! And right field: Kurama 9!"

The nine Kuramas jogged out onto the field. Immediately, a mass of fangirls raised giant banners and began screaming wildly. The Kuramas bowed outrageously and threw roses to their fans.

"And for the Cavaliers! Pitching: Hiei 1! Catching: Hiei 2! First base: Hiei 3! Second base: Hiei 4! Shortstop: Hiei 5! Third base: Hiei 6! Left field: Hiei 7! Center field: Hiei 8! And right field: Hiei 9!"

The Hiei's ran out onto the field. Another mass of fangirls held up banners and screamed with joy. The Hiei's ripped their shirts and began to pose outrageously and flex their muscles. The YYH gang stared in surprise. The Cavaliers were clones of Hiei and the Rangers were clones of Kurama. The two said demons leaned back in their seats, frowning scornfully.

"Do they call those muscles?" Hiei asked, glaring at the posing Hieis. "Those aren't even six-packs."

"Look at these roses! Flimsy plastic! And look at their hair. There isn't even a hint of silky shine!" added Kurama. "Obviously, they don't take nearly such good care of their hair as I do."

"Yeah, they probably don't have time to shower twelve different times a day," snickered Yusuke. Kurama glared, but at that moment, the mascots ran onto the field as well.

"Give it up for the mascots, Harry Canary…" A giant canary wearing a tux, black glasses, and an outrageous smile on his face jumped about waving. "…Clammy Sosa…" A giant clam with a very large mouth came running. "…Cow Lipkin Jr…" A giant cow came running out, waving energetically. "…And Ken Giraffy Jr.!" A giant giraffe came running out, wild applause raining down. Hiei shot Yusuke and Kuwabara a death glare, obviously asking why again they had forced him to come to this pathetic waste of time. They both flinched and tried to pacify the irate demon. Luckily for them, the game started and Hiei was curious as to how baseball was played, so he laid off the death threats and watched the game.

The Rangers and Cavaliers were well-matched. For the first three innings, they watched the Kurama's make amazing catches and the Hiei's make amazing double plays. By the end of the third inning the score was still 0-0 and the paramedics had carted off close to a dozen fainting fangirls. Yusuke and Kuwabara had long since lost interest in the game and were now taunting the players.

"Hey, Kurama 1, my grandmother pitches better than you and she's paralyzed from the neck down!" Yusuke screamed.

"Hey, Hiei 5, my granddad is faster than you and he's in a wheelchair!" Kuwabara taunted.

"He was only that fast because he wanted to get away from you," Hiei muttered, annoyed.

For the intermission between the third and fourth innings, it was announced that Cow Lipkin Jr. would be having a dancing contest with any of the fans that wished to participate. Kuwabara, being the baka that he is, decided to get rid of any microscopic shred of pride that he might have been concealing and joined in. However, no one else in the stadium was so idiotic, so it was just Kuwabara and Cow Lipkin Jr. dancing.

Cow Lipkin Jr. immediately started doing some really freaky disco moves while Kuwabara started doing the Hokey Pokey. The fans booed Kuwabara and threw rotten tomatoes at him. Where they got rotten tomatoes in the middle of a baseball stadium…the world may never know. Maybe the Japanese like to have a good supply of rotten tomatoes to throw at bad dancers. Then, to add injury to insult, Cow Lipkin Jr. jumped on Kuwabara repeatedly, using him for a trampoline. The YYH group laughed hysterically, although Yukina seemed to feel at least a drop of pity for the buffoon. But eventually it was time for the fourth inning to begin, so Cow Lipkin Jr. ran off to wild applause from the crowd, and Kuwabara made pathetic attempts to crawl back to his seat and eventually had to be dragged back by Yusuke and Kurama. Once in his seat, he promptly passed out from pain, which made everyone very happy. And life was good.

As if to make up for his friend's silence due to unconsciousness, Yusuke stepped up on his taunts, continuously raking on the nerves of the Cavaliers and Rangers. Kurama tried a few times to make Yusuke shut up, but he may as well have been talking to his chair for all the attention Yusuke paid to his request. So he sat and watched the game for a few moments, but was again distracted. Ken Giraffy Jr. had been roaming the stands to chat with fans and hug little kids, but he had made two very big mistakes:

1) He called Hiei little.

2) He had tried to give Hiei a hug.

Consequently he was now running around the field with his head on fire.

"Why?" Kurama had asked as several young baseball fans burst into tears as the giraffe burst into flames.

"He deserved it…" Hiei muttered, with his traditional 'I don't give a damn, so don't waste your time lecturing me' expression on his face.

"Can't you at least try to have fun here?" asked Kurama, sure of the answer before it even crossed his lips. He might as well tell Kuwabara to ignore Yukina, or Youko not to steal. It just wasn't going to happen.

"No," was the frigid response. No surprise there. Kurama gave up and made yet another attempt to watch the game. But this attempt was also a failure and soon Koenma was scolding Hiei for using his demonic powers and for creating a sensation in the midst of a public place. Hiei let the lecture run for all of ten seconds, but then Koenma was running around the field in the same fashion as Ken Giraffy Jr.

Eventually several workers doused the mascot and the Reiki prince with water and no one had connected the spontaneous combustion with the short stoic person sitting on the first-base line. At this point, the players were really starting to get annoyed, but thankfully it was time for the seventh inning stretch and Harry Canary walked out to the pitcher's mound. To call his voice similar to a gang of tortured, yowling cats would be a great injustice to those cats. To call it similar to fingernails on a blackboard would be a great injustice to nails and blackboards alike. To even suggest that the singing was 100 times worse than the cats, nails, and blackboard combined would be provocation enough to cause all cats, nails, and blackboards to brutally murder anyone who would dare to suggest it. So it really wasn't all that bad.

"Take me out to the ballgame! Take me out with the crowd! Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks! I don't care if I ever—AAAHHHHHH!"

The reason for this agonized shriek was pretty obvious. Yusuke, disgusted by the horrid singing, had put an end to it by turning Harry Canary into Harry Canary Flambé with his trusty Spirit Gun. He had done it very discretely, and to all those pathetic, ignorant people who had no spirit awareness, it looked as though Harry Canary had spontaneously combusted (anyone seeing a pattern here?). They also marveled that three people had done so at the same place within twenty minutes of each other (apparently some are seeing it…). These stupid people then decided that the stadium was contaminated and they were all going to die, so they ran off, screaming about people spontaneously combusting. They were promptly carted off to the nearest mental hospital and left to die screaming and raving. And they deserved it too, baka ningens.

The Cavaliers and Rangers continued their game with only slight misgivings. By the end of the eighth, the score was still 0-0. As he waited for the ninth inning to start, Kurama continued to fill in his book of stats. As he wrote, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up and did a perfect impression of someone who had received an electric shock. The fact that his once-perfect hair had suddenly become frizzy made Kurama panic even more and he started running around screaming about how he needed hair spray and a comb.

What was the vile creature that had caused Kurama's hair to commit the sin of becoming messy? It was a vile creature, a creature not fit for mortal eyes to behold. It was the one, the only…Clammy Sosa! One of the mascots for the Hiei Cavaliers, the dreaded clam had spotted the boy that looked just like the members of the Kurama Rangers, and had decided to deal with this affront to the Cavaliers…by eating him. So he'd approached Kurama with his mouth wide open, a sight horrifying enough to frighten even the most cold-blooded, collected being in the universe.

With speed that gave lie to his species, Clammy Sosa chased after Kurama, caught him, and swallowed him, all in less time than it took for someone to say 'Clammy Sosa'. Hiei stood up slowly, an aura of fire appearing around him.

"Okay, I've put up with a lot today. This whole experience has been one gigantic misadventure from the beginning and I am completely sick of it. This sport is stupid, these teams are stupid, the mascots are stupid, and everyone who enjoys this pathetic "sport" is stupid, and I wash my hands of all of you. I'm going to rescue my friend and then I'm going home!" he yelled.

Everyone stared at the pissed-off fire demon as he stalked towards the giant clam. Koenma stood up to stop him, but then thought better of it as he'd already been set on fire once that day. Hiei walked up to the giant clam, pulled out his katana, and sliced it open, causing Kurama to fall into an undignified heap in front of them and the guy who was wearing the clam costume to wet his pants. Then Hiei set the entire stadium on fire and the YYH gang fled the scene. Kurama scattered a powder into the flames that was quickly spread by all the smoke. It messed with people's memories so that they all thought they had seen a perfectly normal game on a perfectly normal day and that the massive fire sweeping the stadium was caused by an electrical malfunction by a popcorn machine.

"That was the most fun I've ever had at a baseball game!" Yusuke exclaimed. "We need to go to another game again soon!"

"Yeah!" Kuwabara agreed. "Maybe next time we should storm the field instead of taunting people from the stands!"

"NO THANK YOU!" the rest of the Cast screamed, blowing the two idiots several miles away with the force of their yells.

End!

A/N: This fic was originally supposed to be much longer and involve the YYH Cast having to play a game against the combined forces of the Hiei Cavaliers and the Kurama Rangers, but then I got involved in BSTVs and Youkai in Black and by the time I decided to turn my attention back to this fic, I'd lost interest in the concept and I'd lost the list of the positions that people were going to play so I got pissed and refused to work on it again and just now decided to pull it back up. I'd only written up to the part where Kurama had been eaten by Clammy Sosa so it was pretty easy to pull together a nice ending, especially with Hiei blowing things up, that's always a nice ending.


	9. For Lack of a Better Word OUTTAKES!

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

Disclaimer:

Youko: "Is it finally my turn? Great! Now (hem hem), none of these authors own me, myself, I, Youko, or my human form."

Kitsune: "He has a name, no da!"

Youko: "Yes, yes, whatever, back to me. They also don't own all shiny things, because they belong to yours truly. They also don't own the little shiny ring I stole when I was just a little kit. They also don't own…"

YYH Cast and authors: EXCUSE US, YOUKO! WE THINK YOU FAILED TO MENTION THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS FREAKIN' DISCLAIMER!"

Youko: (puzzled) You guys are more important than me?"

YYH Cast and authors: (glare) YOUKO KURAMA! WE'RE WARNING YOU NOW!"

Youko: (sigh) Ok, ok, hold your horses. They also don't own any other character in the YYH cast. Now, back to me…"

(Everyone starts chasing Youko around the room.)

Youko: (shouts out in exasperation) WHY IDIOTS? WHY CAN'T I EVER BE ATTACKED BY CRAZED, HOT, AND BEAUTIFUL, such as myself, DEMONESSES, ALONG WITH SHINY JEWELERY? WHY OH WHY? (sniff sniff)

* * *

For Lack of a Better Word… Outtakes!

The camera was set to show an empty room. There were several minutes of silence while the camera just sits there and nothing moves. Then the camera started panning slowly through the room, finally showing furniture and two girls sitting at desks. The camera finally stopped on them and there were several more moments of silence before the girls simultaneously cleared their throats and said, "And now for something completely different."

Then several squirrels ran through wearing clown outfits and shrieking while loud silly music played.

Himizu fell out of her seat behind her desk laughing her head off. Ryouko was also laughing, but she managed to keep her seat. "Oh, Monty Python," Himizu said, still laughing her head off. Ryouko agreed cheerfully.

"NOW what's wrong with you two?" Hiei asked them. He was sitting on a chair nearby, watching everything with wary eyes. He knew there was trouble coming… there was always trouble coming when the girls acted like this… which happened far more frequently than he liked to admit.

"We were watching Monty Python while drinking Mountain Dew," Himizu said cheerfully.

"It's the source of her inspiration," Ryouko told Hiei. He winced.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he asked. Ryouko just smiled.

"Anyways, I've decided what our next project will be!" Himizu said happily. Hiei winced even more.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this…" he said. He took several deep breaths and visibly braced himself. "Ready."

"A whole collection of random scenes and outtakes that showed up in my head one day and I wrote down but I can't find a fic to place them in, so I'm just setting it all up like a blooper reel!" Himizu exclaimed. Hiei twitched and fell over.

"Nope, wasn't ready!" he exclaimed. Ryouko shook her head.

"Weird… okay, let's go find the Cast and get this party started!" Ryouko said, marching towards the door. "You coming, Himizu?"

"Wouldn't miss it…" Himizu said, an unusually evil grin escaping onto her face. Hiei groaned under his breath, but followed the girls as they went to break the news to the rest of the Cast.

"You are out of your minds," Yusuke told them. Himizu and Ryouko looked at each other.

"Why do they all think that?" Himizu asked.

"Because it's true?" Ryouko suggested.

"Right… good point. Moving on. You guys are going to do this whether you like it or not! So let's get going!"

The Cast groaned, but they got ready to perform because otherwise… well… who knew what tortures awaited them.

Himizu sat down in her director's chair with a nearly identical one for Ryouko sitting next to her. "Megaphone," she said tersely.

"Check," Ryouko said, handing over the megaphone.

"Clipboard with transcripts."

"Check."

"Hats."

"Check," Ryouko said, plopping one director's hat on Himizu's head and one on her own head.

"Mountain Dews."

"Check."

Himizu took a quick swig of the energizing drink. "We're good to go. Places! Action!"

* * *

Ryouko: I'm evil itself.

(Saitou runs in waving his sword and yelling like a maniac)

Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!

Ryouko: O.O (Uses Sano as a shield)

Sano: WTF mate?

Saitou: You are evil! Evil must be demolished! Demolish all evil!

(Ryouko and Sano run)

Himizu: NOOO! SANO! (Tries to grab Sano)

Saitou: You're in my way!

Himizu: SANO! NOOOOO! (Chases Ryouko and Sano)

Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!

(Chase scene: Ryouko with Sano, Himizu chasing them, Saitou chasing them too, still waving his sword like a maniac)

(Mitari appears)

Himizu: MITARI! (Chases Mitari)

(Ryouko and Sano turn in the opposite direction taken by Himizu. Saitou stops running and looks from left to right, trying to decide which way to go. Sensui appears, also acting like a maniac)

Sensui: Justice be served! Justice be served!

Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!

(Saitou chases Ryouko and Sano; Sensui chases Himizu and Mitari)

Sensui: Justice be served! Justice be served!

Saitou: Demolish all evil! Demolish all evil!

(Ryouko, Sano, Himizu, and Mitari run, eventually forming a circle. As they pass each other, the girls high-five each other.)

(Sensui and Saitou keep running and crash into each other)

Himizu and Ryouko: YES!

(Sensui and Saitou are unconscious)

(Ryouko and Himizu high-five again. They link arms and link arms with Sano and Mitari and walk away into the sunset.)

Sano and Mitari: Meow…

* * *

Hiei: No three-letter word can rule my fate… COLD!

(Everyone falls over)

Hiei: Bwa ha ha ha! Faked you out there! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Kaito: -.-() Okay, who gave the fire demon sugar?

Youko: Ha ha ha! (Throws away empty five-gallon container of ice cream)

* * *

(Himizu and Hiei are standing and glaring at each other)

Hiei: Forget it… I'm not doing it.

Himizu: For the five hundredth time, I said Hulk must smash and Hulk is going to smash!

Hiei: (Flips Himizu off)

Himizu: YOU LITTLE TWIT! (Attacks Hiei with mallet)

Ryouko: Oh for the love of…

Risu: Gods, Hiei, stop being so difficult… just smash the damn chickens!

(Himizu strangling Hiei)

Himizu: I SAID HULK MUST SMASH! HULK WILL SMASH, BECAUSE I SAID SO! HULK MUST SMASH!

* * *

Kitsune: (Freaking out) What if we get attacked by demons? What if Karasu appears? What if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if?

Ryouko: (Picks up a rock and hits Kitsune on the head) SHADDUP!

Himizu: If what if's were skiffs, we'd all be sailors.

Everyone stares blankly, imagining a ship with all of them on it. Then Ryouko begins to sing "I've been working on the railroad."

* * *

Upon finding out that Youko has a sister…

Yusuke: "Youko has a sister? Bet she's one foxy chick!"

(Go ahead, groan. It's stupid, I know… I almost deleted this one.)

* * *

Kurama: "Friends, Romans, and crazy demons, all hail Emperor Hiei."

Hiei enters, taps fingers together and says, "Die!" Then he runs around killing demons and cursing Ryouko and Himizu.

* * *

Ryouko (wearing a director's hat): Yusuke, you need to stand there! No, there! Move a foot to your left! Another foot! No, back to your right! Damnit Yusuke, listen to me!

(Hiei sneaks up behind her and steals the hat, tries it on, and cuts a hole in it for his hair) (Ryouko faints and is revived by Kurama)

Ryouko: "Off with his hair!" (Chases Hiei with a chainsaw)

(Finally tosses the chainsaw aside, tackles Hiei, and ties his hair with a pink bow that can be removed by him saying that he is Yukina's brother)

Hiei: I hate you! All I did was steal your hat!

Ryouko: And you ruined it! So you must pay the price!

* * *

Yusuke: "Who… who… who…"

Kuwabara: "It's an owl!"

Hiei: (Evil grin) "Owls… Taste like chicken."

* * *

Kuwabara in Algebra

Teacher: "Now, just as a test to make sure you are all in the right class… what is 2 + 2?"

Whole Class: "4!"

Kuwabara: (Holds up two fingers) "I have two apples… (Holds up two more fingers) and I have two more apples… (Brings the four fingers close together, eyes shifting from finger to finger) but then, we have a tree… (Pause) Then we have Granny's apple pie, and then we add all the apples that all the teachers have for no good reason at all. And THEN you add… (Expression of rapturous delight) the grocery store."

(Whole class stares blankly)

Teacher: "Kuwabara, what are you doing?"

Kuwabara: (Innocently) "Trying to work out the problem, ma'am."

* * *

Four dark shadows can be seen standing on a stage. When music strikes up, four spotlights light up the four main YYH boys, all of whom are wearing very classy suits and black sunglasses. As the music plays, they start singing and strutting around in time to the music:

"Clean shirt, new shoes, And I don't know where I am goin' to. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."

The boys continue strutting and preening as they sing along to the music (adjusting their clothes and running their hands through their hair, peering over their sunglasses to shoot devastatingly sexy glances at the camera, etc.)

"Gold watch, diamond ring, I ain' missin'not a single thing. And cufflinks, stick pin, When I step out I'm gonna do you in. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."

"Top coat, top hat, I don't worry coz my wallet's fat. Black shades, white gloves, Lookin' sharp and lookin' for love. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, Cuz every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."

(Yes I'm aware there is no point to this, but tell me this image is not completely and utterly fantastic… I definitely fantasized about it the entire time I was listening to that song, and even played it again to keep the fantasy going.)

A/N: Yeah, I know, random and weird. Don't say I didn't warn you. Plus this is me we're talking about, you should expect it.


	10. The Camping Trip

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

The Camping Trip

A/N: So this was supposed to be a nice-sized fic, maybe five chapters, with some nice fluff and hints of romance, but then I realized that I'm terrible at romance fics so it ended up being a short odd fic that's part funny, part fluff, and maybe part something else, I don't know. It does have its own charm though.

They were lost. There was no doubt about it. They had been walking for hours with not a single familiar landmark. No familiar rock formations, trees, or posts, least of all their campsite destination. Luckily, they still had all their supplies. They had thought it would be fun, a weekend in the woods in a designated campsite, but no one had counted on Himizu holding the map upside-down, Risu taking them northeast when they should have been heading southwest, or Ryouko accidentally setting the map on fire… somehow…

So anyways, Ryouko, Himizu, and Risu were lost in the woods with Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari. They were loaded down by two tents, clothes, sacks of food, matches, and other necessities. The sun was setting and Himizu had a feeling that they were nowhere near their destination. Probably the least directionally challenged of any of them, her opinions were taken into consideration. However, if Risu suggested going one way, they would invariably go the opposite direction, seeing as her internal compass seemed a bit screwed up.

"Well, we may as well make camp. There's not much daylight left and there is no way in the seven circles of hell that we are going to find our way out of here. We may as well set up a decent camp while there's still enough light to see what we're doing," said Himizu at last.

Immediately Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari collapsed on the ground, dropping their burdens. They had each carried a tent and a large bag, or two large bags in Mitari's case since there were only two tents, so they were exhausted. The girls sat down on large rocks and shared a package of cookies. After about five minutes of this, the package of cookies was empty and the boys were asleep. The girls looked at each other, got identical evil grins, and pulled out trumpets. These they promptly blew, jolting the boys back into wakefulness, thinking that they were under attack. The girls fell over laughing and were promptly beat up by Hiei. Kurama and Mitari were too polite to do something like that.

So once Hiei got tired of beating the crap out of them, the three girls began walking around the campsite, deciding where the tents would be set up, where the camp fire would be, where they would store the food, etc., etc., etc… Then they made whips out of springy willow branches and threatened to hit the boys if they didn't set up the tents that very second. The boys did so and the girls became bored, so they started hitting each other with the whips… o.O Yes, they do have issues.

"Bwa ha ha ha! The evil willowy whip of doom shall beat you into submission!" cackled Himizu.

"In your dreams! My whip will force you to bow to me!" yelled Ryouko.

"You're both wrong! After I'm done with you, you'll both be licking my shoes! Wait, that's sick… I'll think of something else," Risu exclaimed.

After about five hours, the sun was long gone, the boys had fallen asleep, and the girls were tired. So they walked back to the campsite and fell asleep in their tent. They were awakened late that night by a wolf howling. Ryouko tore out of the tent as though it were on fire.

"WOLFIE!" she screamed.

Hiei, who had been sleeping in a nearby tree, woke up with a start and nearly fell out of the tree. "What are you doing you baka girl?" he yelled. Ryouko turned to him.

"I'm sorry Hiei, did I wake you? I heard a wolf. I'll be right back!" Then she ran off in the direction she thought the howl had come from.

"You're going after a wolf? Are you nuts? It'll eat you alive!" Hiei yelled after the wolf-obsessed girl. He turned back to the tents. Risu was still sound asleep. Himizu was awake though and blinking like an owl. She looked odd without her glasses. Kurama and Mitari poked their tousled heads out.

Mitari's eyes widened when he saw Himizu. He had never seen her without her glasses before and was stunned by the change it made in her face. She actually looked… pretty. Of course, she wasn't hyper or trying to glomp the life out of him, that helped. Kurama didn't seem to notice anything, he just yawned.

"Somebody had better go and get Ryouko…" he muttered. Hiei frowned.

"By 'somebody', you mean me, don't you?" he demanded. Kurama nodded, then crawled back into the tent and fell asleep. Risu gave an extra loud snore as she rolled over, completely oblivious. Himizu was still blinking like an owl, with almost no idea what was going on around her. Hiei muttered something, then darted off among the trees in search of Ryouko. Himizu reached out and found her glasses, sliding them onto the bridge of her nose. The sun was beginning to rise, so with a reluctant sigh, she pushed herself up.

"Suppose I better start making breakfast. Hiei will be hungry after chasing Ryouko, Ryouko will be hungry after chasing a wolf, Risu is a pain in the ass until she gets food, and Kurama will probably go Youko on me unless he gets some coffee," she grumbled. Running her fingers through her flyaway hair in a pathetic attempt to comb it a little, she strolled over to their supply bags. Mitari watched her. He had never seen her in the early mornings, and he found that he rather liked this quiet new Himizu.

"Would you like some help?" he asked her. She flashed him a quick smile.

"Thanks Mitari. That'd be great." She caught his eye, saw the softness in it, blushed like crazy, and busied herself with the coffeepot. Behind them, Risu snored like a train and Kurama sounded just as bad. Himizu and Mitari burst out laughing.

Ryouko was completely lost. The wolf had gone quiet and she could no longer hear the voices of her friends. In her eagerness to find the wolf, she had forgotten to even notice which direction she'd run off in, and had no idea where the camp was. She looked around for a moment, hoping to spot a telltale wisp of smoke or hear the sound of Himizu hitting someone with a frying pan. Then she saw Hiei standing in a tree above her.

"Hiei! What are you doing?" Ryouko exclaimed in surprise.

"I followed you," Hiei replied.

"No shit Sherlock, I can see that. Why?" she asked.

"So you wouldn't get lost."

"Oh… that's nice…"

"What did you think I was going to say?"

"That Kurama told you to."

"He did… but I would have anyways."

Ryouko was surprised. She hadn't expected something like that from Hiei. He hopped down from the tree and landed next to her.

"Do you happen to know where the wolf is?" Ryouko finally asked. Hiei couldn't help but laugh. She was determined; he would say that for her.

"Yeah, it's not that far off. Do you want to go see?"

"Duh…"

"Okay, but don't run off this time, okay?"

"Sure."

The pair walked off through the trees in the direction of the wolf. Ryouko barely noticed Hiei's hand on her arm as he guided her swiftly through the woods.

As the sun rose, Himizu and Mitari finished their cooking. They set out the coffee pot and a pot of tea for those that didn't drink coffee. Between them, they had cooked bacon, eggs, and pancakes. The scent of freshly brewed coffee roused Kurama and he made his way out of the tent.

"Wow… this looks great. I didn't know you could cook, Himizu."

"Hm?" asked Himizu. She had shoveled peanut butter and syrup over her pancakes and was busy stuffing two into her mouth. A cup of mint tea sat next to her.

"I would have thought you'd be guzzling coffee, you caffeine addict," Kurama said as he observed the tea. Himizu choked on her pancakes.

"Hack, gag, choke! Excuse me? Kurama, how dare you suggest I would offend my taste buds with coffee? Mint tea has almost as much caffeine and tastes a lot better. But Mountain Dew is still the best drink… but it's not good to drink with breakfast…"

"At least you have a little common sense… Are Hiei and Ryouko back yet?"

"No… I thought they would show up while Mitari and I made food, but they didn't… speaking of food, why isn't Risu awake yet?" Himizu mused, gazing at the tent where Risu continued to snore.

"How would I know?" Kurama asked, guzzling his coffee and refilling the cup with one hand and piling bacon, eggs, and pancakes onto his plate with the other.

"It was rhetorical, baka kitsune," Himizu said, picking up a pancake and walking in the direction of the tent.

"What are you doing?" Mitari asked her.

"You'll see," she said with a grin. Her eyes were glittering with mischief… which Mitari found appealing. But the slight grin that had appeared on his face vanished when he realized what she was about to do.

"Oh crap… Himizu, don't!" he yelped, jumping up. Himizu was wiggling the pancake directly above Risu's nose.

"Risu… the pancakes are done…"

"Not yet… must reach level 500…"

"Risu… the pancakes are getting cold…"

"No… I hate spelling…"

"Risu… the pancakes grew legs and ran away wearing your clothes…"

"But I'm busy feeding Kuwabara… to my pet llama…"

"RISU NO BAKA, EAT THE PANCAKES I MADE FOR YOU, YOU USELESS LAZY BUM!" Himizu screamed, whacking Risu over the head with a frying pan.

"HOW DARE YOU WAKE ME UP WITHOUT BEARING FOOD!" Risu screamed. Himizu looked puzzled.

"I do have food… it's in your hair though… I dropped it when I hit you on the head with my frying pan."

"Yay! Pancake!" squealed Risu, happily eating it. "More please."

Himizu looked puzzled for a moment, then shook her head, laughing. "You're so weird… There's more food outside." Then she walked out while Risu tried to untangle herself from her sleeping bag. Himizu looked at Kurama and Mitari's stunned faces. "What?" she asked.

"Wow…" Ryouko gasped. The wolf stood on a small hill nearby. As she watched, it lifted its head and howled as the moon sank below the trees. Then it turned and walked towards the trees on the opposite side of the clearing. It wouldn't have mattered if it had come their way though because Hiei and Ryouko were sitting side by side in a tree. "That was amazing. Thanks for bringing me here."

"You're welcome…" Hiei said awkwardly. He wasn't sure how to respond to this. Ryouko looked around.

"I wonder if Himizu made breakfast yet…" she muttered.

"That baka girl can cook?" Hiei asked, surprised.

"Amazingly enough, yeah. She's actually a pretty good cook. You should taste her fine cuisine sometime."

"Her what?"

"It's our code for Macaroni & Cheese." (A/N: LOL, that's my specialty!)

"…"

In the distance, they heard a voice scream something, then the thud of a frying pan whacking a skull.

"Uh oh…" muttered Ryouko. "Sounds like trouble."

"So what?" Hiei said. "Maybe Himizu and Risu will kill each other."

"We can't have that!" Ryouko yelped. Hiei's eyebrows went up. Ryouko grinned. "We need Himizu to cook for us until we get back to civilization, so Risu can't kill her."

"Ah. Okay then, let's go." He scooped her up easily in his arms and sprang through the trees in the direction of their camp.

Himizu sat back down next to Mitari and continued to eat her pancakes. The whole thing amused her, you could tell.

"I wonder where Hiei and Ryouko are right now…" Kurama muttered.

"Probably making out in a tree somewhere…" Himizu muttered. Then she instinctively threw herself flat on the ground, just in time to avoid being hit by a large rock. Mitari and Kurama sweatdropped.

"HIMIZU NO BAKA!" Ryouko yelled, stalking into camp. Himizu grinned and sat back up.

"Pax, pax… You know I was kidding… want some pancakes?"

"DON'T EAT ALL THE PANCAKES!" screamed Risu. Everyone fell over laughing, even Hiei (who had walked in unnoticed behind Ryouko). Risu was still tangled in her sleeping bag, so she had simply wiggled out in the fashion of a caterpillar. She then somehow managed to pull herself into a sitting position and promptly fell face first onto the spot where the pancakes had been sitting before Himizu snatched them out of the way, knowing exactly what was going to happen. Helpfully she loaded up a plate of food for Risu and sat it down in front of her, so she could eat in the fashion of a dog.

"Some people have no table manners at all," she sniffed daintily, picking up her cup of tea, and sticking her little finger in the air in the fashion of British people.

"You could help her disentangle herself…" Kurama pointed out.

"Why on earth would I want to do that?" she asked, looking shocked. Ryouko laughed as she and Hiei started eating too.

"What shall we do today then?" asked Mitari.

"Find our way to the correct campsite," Ryouko said. "This was fun and all, but we need to find civilization sometime."

"Let's pack up and go then!" said Himizu happily, stuffing her last pancake into her mouth.

They all jumped up and started packing and in no time, they were ready to move on. Even though the map was practically useless by now, Himizu continued to consult it at intervals, hoping that a landmark would show up. Unfortunately, lunchtime came and they were still just as lost as they had been that morning. So they ate sandwiches and tried to figure out where to go next. Himizu finished first and she slid down to the edge of the creek nearby to look for salamanders or snakes. Mitari and Kurama started skipping stones on the surface of the creek. Hiei leaned back against a tree and Ryouko sat next to him. Risu kept eating.

"Himizu, put down the snake!" Kurama exclaimed when he saw that Himizu was holding a small black snake in her hands.

"Why? It's harmless. Ring-necked snakes can't hurt you. Its jaws are physically unable to bite people," she said, gently cradling the tiny black snake in her hand. Mitari walked over to look and was fascinated by the beauty of the tiny creature's movements. He noted the small golden ring around its neck, hence the name. Ryouko grinned as she watched them.

"Himizu, you're traumatizing it. Put it back," she said. Himizu stuck out her tongue, but after petting the snake one last time, she placed it back on the forest floor where it slid away under the leaves. Then the girl pulled off her shoes and socks and scampered out onto a rock in the middle of the creek. Kurama groaned at the adventurous girl, but Mitari was rather amused at her eager and excited nature. Ryouko also jumped off and pulled off her shoes and socks to follow her friend, and Risu was right on their heels. They spent quite some time wading around, jumping from rock to rock, and searching the creek for small animals like crayfish and frogs. Eventually Mitari joined them, and so did Kurama though he was way more interested in studying plant life than being adventurous. Hiei refused to do anything as silly as wading and he stretched out under a tree with one eye open to keep an eye on the group.

Finally it was very late in the afternoon. The sun wasn't setting yet but it would be before too long. So they all got out of the creek and started hiking again, hoping against hope that they would find some sign that other human beings had been there recently. Unfortunately there were still no signs of life that weren't small forest animals. The novelty of being lost in the woods was clearly wearing thin on the three girls and they were starting to get snippy… mostly with each other. But in the middle of them snarling at each other about where they should make camp, Himizu ended up saying something about Ryouko's mother, Ryouko tackled her, and next thing anyone knew, they were battling in the middle of the woods using their random fire and ice powers that seemed to only show up just when the girls wanted to have a violent and pointless battle in the most inconvenient place possible. And it was this battle that Hiei stepped into, much to Kurama and Mitari's surprise.

"Alright, you know what, I've had it with this. You three are supposed to be best friends, so why are you acting like psycho bitches? Chill out already!" he snapped.

"Oh shut up, you annoying baka freak. And tell your girlfriend to stop shooting fireballs at me."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WOMAN?" bellowed Hiei. Ryouko screamed furiously, calling Himizu every name she could think of. Kurama, Mitari, Himizu, and Risu covered their ears, Kurama to save Shuuichi's virgin ears, Mitari to save his virgin ears, and Himizu and Risu to just plain save their eardrums.

When they were done, Himizu lifted her hands and said, "Man, you guys are perfect for each other. But your kid is going to be one hell of a loud-mouth." The hands were pressed against the ears again as Hiei and Ryouko continued their deadly and explosive tirade.

As the group stood still and stared at each other while their eardrums stopped ringing, they heard the sound of bushes rustling. They turned and saw two rangers stepping into the clearing.

"Who are you?" the first ranger asked. "The campground is quite a ways away."

"We're campers… supposedly. But we got lost," Kurama said.

"No kidding… Lucky we found you or you could have been out here for months," the second ranger said.

"Months? I'm sure you're exaggerating," Mitari said.

"No, we're not. But luckily you were arguing so loudly that we could hear you from miles away."

"HA! It's useful! You lied to me Kurama!" Himizu screamed. He stared blankly at her, then decided he didn't want to continue this conversation. The rangers started leading the way to the campsite. Risu and Himizu skipped along close behind them and occasionally running off into the woods to have mini-adventures. Kurama, Hiei, and Mitari struggled to follow under the weight of their supplies. Ryouko started to skip ahead, then turned around and ran back to Hiei, walking next to him for a few minutes and even snatching his hand for a few seconds, then skipping after her friends. Kurama cast a sidelong glance at Hiei.

"Anything you want to tell us about her?"

"Nope," Hiei said, quickening his pace to get away from the inquisitive fox. Kurama stared after him for a moment then shook his head. On one hand it amazed him that their casually flirtatious friendship hadn't progressed to another level, on the other hand the very idea terrified him. So perhaps it was better to stay quiet and observe.

"Ryouko, did you weld your hand to Hiei's so you wouldn't have to be apart? That's so cute!" Himizu yelled teasingly. Ryouko let out a feral growl and flew after her friend to strangle her. Hiei rolled his eyes and sighed. Risu laughed her ass off and ran after the other girls. Mitari just stared in confusion. The rangers completely ignored the campers following them. And Kurama stared after the girls, debating whether to play referee or just let them duke it out. He decided on the latter course. There was much less pain that way.

A/N: So yeah, hope you liked it. I actually am still not sure whether I really like the ending. I can never resist doing Ryouko and Hiei fluff but sometimes I worry that I'll cross the line and end up with a romance that's too much for me and my readers to handle… not to mention the fear that Ryouko will see them and physically harm me since she hates the idea of an outright romance with Hiei for reasons that I cannot fathom. But that's a topic for another time…


	11. Random Conversations from a Deleted Fic

All the world's a fanfic, and all the humans and demons merely characters.

A/N: This marks the last appearence of Kitsune. Since she helped write this stuff, I felt it would be unkind to change the character names like I have in some of my other fics (plus some of the stuff she says is so outragously Kitsune there is no way I could have adapted it to my other OCs. So enjoy, then say goodbye.

Anyways, this was going to be this nice long fic that Ryouko, Kitsune, and I were writing together, but we kept getting distracted and having random conversations and typing those up and soon we had pages and pages of random conversations, but very little plot. Then Kitsune and Ryouko had a fight, then Ryouko moved away, then Kitsune and I had a fight... and it became painfully obvious that this fic would never be finished. So I deleted all of the content (a surprisingly small amount) except for what little was required to make the jokes make sense, and then left the conversations. All you really need to know is that in the fic, Kurama has a crush on Yukina, sees her get kidnapped, goes to save her, etc. Meanwhile Hiei, Yuske, Kuwabara, and Botan are also trying to find her. Also, Botan has a crush on Kurama and has been harassing him. And... that's basically as far as we got. Thus, it was scrapped. But here are the conversations in all their "glory"

An Incredibly Old "Fic" Made Up Entirely of Random Conversations

Disclaimer: we do not own YYH, so don't sue us (yes, there are three people writing this, so don't… don't… I don't know! I forgot what I was going to say…-.-:)

Kitsune: Hello world!

Ryouko: Goodbye world!

Himizu: Good-bye? We haven't even started yet!

Kitsune: Please Ryouko; you're scaring away the customers!

Ryouko: WE DON'T HAVE ANY CUSTOMERS, YOU IDIOT! OH, LETS JUST START WRITING SOME FICS BEFORE I LOSE MY TEMPER!

Himizu: (whispering to Kitsune) If this is before she loses her temper, Hiei might have a serious rival here!

Ryouko & Hiei: WHAT did you say? (Glare menacingly while raising their fists and katanas)

Himizu: (looking petrified) Nothing, nothing… (grabs the nearest person, who happens to be Kurama, and pulls him in front of her)

Kurama: (sweatdrops) WHAT DID I DO?

Kitsune: Ryouko, Hiei don't kill Kurama! He's the star of the show!

Kurama: I am?

YYH Cast: He is?

Kitsune: Yep, he is and if you two (glares at the co-authors) don't stop fighting and come to help me; I'll start writing myself!

Ryouko & Himizu: Ok, ok we're coming… But he's not really the star, you know.

Kitsune: I know. (sniff sniff)

Ryouko: Nuts! The girl is nuts! Along with Himizu.

Himizu: Dimwit.

Ryouko: Freak.

Together: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

YYH Cast: (laughs hysterically)

Kitsune: CHILDREN STOP!

Himizu: Children indeed! You're one of the youngest here!

Kitsune: Let's just get moving. Where is Ryouko?

Kurama: And where is Hiei?

Everyone hears clicking noises and turn to the computer to find Ryouko busily typing with Hiei leaning over her shoulder.

Yusuke: Hiei's hitting on Ryouko! (he and Kuwabara laugh hysterically, and are stopped with two swift punches each from Hiei and Ryouko)

Meanwhile, everyone dashes to the computer. The authors reach it first and surround themselves with a barrier (and throwing out Hiei in the process).

The Authors: Let the typing (FINALLY) begin!

* * *

Kurama was afraid of Hiei's reaction.

Himizu: I mean, hello, we're talking the shortest sadistic fire youkai ever to walk the planet here!

Hiei: (eyes narrowing threateningly and starts jabbing his sword at the barrier) When you come out of there I'll…

Kitsune: Hiei stop! The electricity is ruining our hair!

Himizu: (trying desperately to flatten her hair) I don't care! As long as he doesn't get in here.

Ryouko: (with her braided hair above her head and still typing away) Himizu, stop being such an "I'm-so-scared-of-Hiei" little crybaby! And Hiei, thank you so much for getting my hair off my back, it gets hot in an electric barrier with these two after a while.

Himizu: Stop jabbing the barrier you stupid idiot midget shrimp! (Uses her author power to force Hiei into a shrimp costume)

The costume dissolves in a burst of flame. Kitsune and Ryouko burst into hysterical laughter.

Together: (shrieking) Hiei's lost his shirt again!

Ryouko: My, Hiei, you look much better now without your shirt off then the last time I saw you, and that was about, what, 5 seconds ago…

Hiei's skin turns green (to hide his red flushed face) and his hair fluffs, splitting into two points. His eyes narrow menacingly as he is surrounded by black flames while swirls of more black flames rise around the room. Scary, isn't it?

Himizu: (eyes wide with horror at the result of her jest) OH MY GOD! IT'S THE BLACK DRAGON! OH MY GOD!

Kitsune: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hiei, she may be annoying, but she's still our friend.

Ryouko: Yeah, if anyone should get to kill her, it should be me.

Hiei: Your friend, not mine. By the way (turns to Ryouko) I'm so sorry I have to take this pleasurable experience away from you, but I must do it for the sake of humans, demons, and emotionless, sadistic dictionaries!

Ryouko: (nods head understandingly) Yes! Go Hiei! And do what you must to finally do something helpful for this world! (says so very professionally)

Himizu: (going absolutely ballistic) WHAT? FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I BRING PLEASURE TO SOME HUMANS AND YOUKAIS… (pauses) …well, actually, I just fight with demons, but… FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS CONVERSATION, I DO! AND FURTHURMORE…though I hate to admit it…I BELONG IN THE CATEGORY OF EMOTIONLESS, SADISTIC DICTIONARIES!

Hiei: (not paying the slightest attention to anything Himizu is saying) NOW COME OUT AND DIE!

Himizu: MAKE ME! (laughs her head off)

Ryouko: I'll help you Hiei!(tries to push Himizu out of the barrier and succeeds)

Himizu: I AM SOOOOOOO GOING TO KILL YOU, RYOUKO!

Ryouko: Go on and face your darkest fears!

Himizu: How did you know my darkest fear?

Ryouko: The same way I know what your deepest desire is!

Himizu: Oh yeah? And what's that?

Ryouko: RICK NASH, NO DA!

Himizu: (now flushed from both anger and embarrassment) Well, so you do know it… SO WHAT?

Hiei: So you can stop this good-for-nothing argument now because you aren't even going to go back into that freaking barrier!

Kitsune: (sighs wearily) I'm so sorry Hiei, but this is for the sake of the fic and for your own good. (she disables Hiei's dark dragon attack, just as he is about to perform it)

(Himizu faints)

Hiei: (glares menacingly at Kitsune, but after a while settles down and returns to normal) You could have at least let me hit her.

Ryouko: Yeah, Kitsune, you ruined the best part of the argument!

Kitsune: (ticked to the bone) CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE FIC?

* * *

He was afraid of Kuwabara's rage. He could only picture it in his mind and shudder with horror.

Himizu: (recovered) Ha, Kurama scared of that idiot, impossible!

Kuwabara: (raging) WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Ryouko and Kitsune: SHUT UP! IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, WE'RE TRYING TO WRITE A FIC HERE!

Himizu and Kuwabara: (pissed) SO WHAT?

Ryouko, Kitsune and YYH cast: SO SHUT UP!

Himizu: (totally pissed) MAKE ME! YOU KNOW I'LL NEVER LISTEN! (starts laughing evilly)

Kitsune: STOP, YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN!

Himizu: (as pissed as you can possibly get) WHAT FREAKING CHILDREN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Kitsune: (points at YYH cast) THESE CHILDREN!

Kurama: (pissed as well as insulted) Hey, I'm not a child, they are! And may we please continue with the fic?

Hiei: (now pissed as well) I know I'm under a hundred, but I'm no kid, woman!

Kitsune: Well, at least I'm not 3ft., you midget!

Hiei: (even more pissed than before) WELL, NEITHER AM I!

Yusuke and Kuwabara: (just as pissed as everyone else) Hey, we're 14, you know. You're younger.

Ryouko: WILL ALL YOU PISSED FREAKS JUST SHUT-UP ALREADY? I'M TRYING TO WRITE A FIC HERE! And by the way, all of you aren't children, YOU'RE BABIES! (except for Kitsune)

Himizu sticks out tongue and Ryouko sticks hers back!

* * *

Yusuke: (staring angrily at Kuwabara) HEY, YOU TOLD ME YOU KNEW WHERE THEY TOOK HER!

Kuwabara: NO, I SAID HIEI WAS LOOKING FOR IT!

Yusuke: Oh, well Hiei, how did you find it?

Hiei: WILL YOU TO SHUT UP? WE NEED TO REACH KURAMA ASAP! Plus, it said the address on the envelope…

They reached Kurama's house only to find that he was nowhere to be found.

Kuwabara: (desperately anxious) AT A TIME LIKE THIS, HE DECIDES TO DISAPPEAR!

Botan: I talked to him; he said he had other things to do. He's only human, you know.

Kuwabara: NO, HE'S NOT HUMAN! But where did you come from, anyway? HUH, HUH, HUH?

Botan: I came to help you, of course. Why else would I be here?

Kuwabara: (sweat drop) Oh, I'm sure you don't want to know…

Botan smacks him hard on the head with her oar, while the other two start searching the area for anything unusual. Finally, after a search that took about ten long minutes, the found the evidence of a portal. The real trouble was to open it.

Yusuke: Well Botan, do your job and crack this jackpot.

Botan: (annoyed) EXCUSE ME? What do I look like to you, a freaking LOCKSMITH?

Kuwabara: (confused) Do you really need a locksmith to open a portal?

Yusuke: (eyeing Botan) Yeah Botan, I know you're old, but do you really come from that far back?

Botan (ticked as can possibly get, smacks both Yusuke and Kuwabara on the head with her oar) HOW DARE YOU BE SO RUDE TO ME, YOU EVIL, DEMENTED, UNBEARABLE TWO! WHY, I'LL RIP YOUR HEADS OFF THE NEXT TIME YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU, YOU…

Hiei: (already opened the portal and is about to go through it) You will kill or annoy everyone around you if you don't shut-up soon, and if you don't shut-up now…I WILL KILL YOU WITHOUT MERCY! NOW GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR AND LET'S GO THROUGH THE FREAKING PORTAL ALREADY!

They all climbed into the portal, unaware at all of what lay ahead…

* * *

Now, we must not forget that our hero (AKA: Kurama) has also gone inside the portal to rescue his beloved (yet secret) crush. He mounts his noble, white horse, desperately searching for his beloved, kidnapped princess…

Ryouko: HEY, HOW DID ALL THIS MUSHY-GUSHY CRAP GET INTO THE DAILOGUE? KITSUNE…(turns to Kitsune, who is covered with a dreamy look on her face)

Kitsune: (now with starry eyes) Well, isn't it obvious? Kurama, in a dreamy armor on a white horse! That is every girl's dream hottie!

Ryouko: (-.-;) Well, you can be sure it ain't my dream hottie. I like them simple, no da…

Himizu: (staring nervously in all directions) Can we just continue with the fic, for crying out loud? We don't want Kurama to hear this conversation, you know…

Kurama: (scaring the wits out of Himizu) Well, that's too bad, because I already heard. By the way, I hope I look good in shining armor…

Kitsune: (trying to get out of barrier to glomp Kurama) YOU'LL LOOK WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS! I LOVE YOU!

Kurama: (sweat drops) Yes Kitsune, I really like you too…

Ryouko: (devastated) Jeeze Kurama, you don't have to be so kind, Kitsune can handle any insult (except from a hottie). By the way, (turns to Himizu) how come you're so paranoid now, huh?

Himizu twitches and fidgets constantly

Kitsune: Himizu, stop twitching! What's the matter with you?

Himizu: I can't help it! It's that crazy fire demon!

Kitsune: (sweat drop) He's just standing there…

Himizu: EXACTLY!

Hiei: Oh give it a rest, you paranoid nutcase. As strange as it may sound, I am not planning your death.

Himizu: JUST BECAUSE I'M PARANOID DOESN'T MEAN YOU AREN'T WATCHING ME! (glares at Hiei's Jagon)

Kuwabara: Who knows what that midget could be looking at with that freaky thing of his.

Yukina: (stares innocently) Like what?

Kuwabara: Nothing tulip. (coughs while saying "porn", but Hiei catches)

Hiei: (really ticked) WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU SICK FREAK, THAT I LIKE WHATCHING NAKED WOMEN LIKE YOU?

Kuwabara: No, but I think you're satisfied with Ryouko.

Ryouko gets out of the barrier and glares at Kuwabara while raising her katana.

Ryouko: (glares evilly) WOULD YOU RATHER BE CUT IN HALF OR TORTURED UNTIL YOU DIE? I CAN EASILY PICK, NO DA!

Himizu: Whoa, she's worse than Hiei!

Kitsune: Maybe, but I think you and Hiei are much more sadistic.

Himizu: (pissed) ME? SADISTIC?

Kitsune: Of course, you crazy person who loves watching people get beat up!

Himizu: And how does that make me sadistic?

Kitsune: You find it fascinating when people beat the crap out of each other, when blood and guts and teeth are everywhere, and when people are on fire.

Ryouko: (turns to the two arguers) And don't forget when purple blood falls everywhere! (turns back to Kuwabara) ANSWER ALREADY!

Kitsune: Oh, right. (The extremely pissed Himizu opens her mouth to protest, but Kitsune holds up her hand.) Shut up, Kuwabara's about to tell Ryouko how he wants to be killed.

Kuwabara: Well, I'd rather be cut in half but…PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

Ryouko raises her katana to strike when a black blur runs in front of her, blocking Kuwabara.

Hiei: NO! (everyone stares at him. Suddenly, an evil grin appears on his face.) I want to do it.

Ryouko: Well, you can't! HE'S MINE!

Hiei: MINE!

Ryouko: MINE!

Hiei: MINE!

Ryouko: MINE!

Hiei: MINE!

Ryouko: MINE!

Both their voices are about 50 octaves higher than normal and veins can be seen standing out of their necks. Kitsune finally decides to step in.

Kitsune: People, please, for the sake of the fic, we need Kuwabara.

Ryouko: For the sake of this argument, we do not. Now move, Hiei, so that I can kill him.

Hiei: For the last time, HE IS MINE WOMAN!

Ryouko: HE'S MINE!

Hiei: MINE!

Ryouko: MINE!

Hiei: MINE!

Ryouko: MINE!

Ryouko pulls out a baseball bat and tries to hit Hiei with it, but he jumps on it. Ryouko swings the bat upwards, causing Hiei to fall from it and hitting Yusuke on the head.

Ryouko: (turns to Yusuke) Sorry Yusuke. (accidentally hits Kuwabara on the head.) Whoops. (turns to Kuwabara and accidentally hits Yusuke on the head again.) Sorry Yusuke. (turns to Yusuke and hits Kuwabara on the head again)

Ryouko: (turns to Kuwabara and scowls fiercely) Hey, I'm supposed to cut you in half. (drops bat and picks up katana, but finds herself facing Hiei again.) DARN IT HIEI! WILL YOU MOVE?

Hiei: (shakes his head firmly) NO!

Ryouko hits him in the side of the head with the baseball bat and sends him flying. All the while, Himizu sits inside the barrier laughing, plainly enjoying the sight of the argument that she has helped start. Truly the title of sadistic suited her well.

Ryouko: (EXTREMELY ticked) Alright, let's make a deal.

Kuwabara: (pleading look) SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KILL ME?

Ryouko: (glaring at him) I NEVER SAID THAT! AND I WAS TALKING TO THE YOUKAI IN FRONT OF YOU!

Hiei: I'm listening…

Ryouko: Alright, since (and I'm sorry to say this) we need Kuwabara for the fic, we shouldn't kill him until the fic is finished…

Kitsune: THANK YOU RYOUKO!

Ryouko: WILL YOU SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO CONVERSE WITH THIS PERSON HERE! For crying out loud, freak…

Kitsune: Dim-wit.

Together: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Himizu: (mad) Hey, that's not your line…

Kitsune and Ryouko: SHUT-UP AND STAY OUT OF THIS!

Himizu: (inching hurriedly towards the corner) Ok, ok, I heard you…

Ryouko: Well, anyway (turning back to Hiei) when the fic is done, you and I can both torture and eliminate Himizu and Kuwabara, riding the world of two very annoying dim-wits! Well, what do you say?" (holding out her hand)

Hiei: (taking her hand heartily) THAT SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL PLAN! I AGREE!

Himizu: (shrugs) Who cares? I can just disable the shrimp's black dragon and I won't have a care in the world!

Ryouko: (shrugs playfully back) Yes, you won't have a care in the world except me and my returning Hiei's black dragon. But other than that, you'll be carefree!

Himizu: (shocked beyond words) YOU WOULDN'T DARE! DIM-WIT!

Ryouko: WANT TO BET? FREAK!

Together: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

YYH cast: LET'S GET BACK TO THE FIC ALREADY!

All 3 authors sigh in resignation: Fine, fine, keep your shirts on!

Kitsune and Ryouko: EXCEPT KURAMA AND HIEI!

Hiei and Kurama: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Himizu: (rolls her eyes) Oh please….

Ryouko: What if Rick Nash comes?

Himizu: (happy beyond words) RICK NASH, WHERE, WHERE?

Ryouko: Oh please, the first time I touch a hockey player, you'll know it's the end of the world!

Himizu: (charging at Ryouko) YOU SHALL PAY FOR THAT REMARK, SAVAGE!

Ryouko: (already safe and snug in barrier with Kitsune) Me, savage? When she and a hockey player get together, we'll see savageness, no da. I mean, we're talking mass destruction people!

And the fic is, once again, underway, WITH NO DEMENTED MUSHY-GUSHY STUFF!

Kurama (on foot, with his normal pink uniform) goes about searching for his crush.

* * *

When Kurama is trying battle the demon, he reaches for his rosewhip and grabs a hockey stick.

Kurama: A hockey stick? Where did this come from?

Kitsune and Ryouko: HIMIZU!

Himizu: (Innocently) What?

Ryouko: This is not one of your stupid hockey stories!

Himizu: Well, what's he supposed to have?

(Kitsune gives a cry of horror and despair and runs to a corner of the barrier where she crouches, head in hands, muttering to herself.)

Ryouko: (ballistic) WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO HAVE? ARE YOU CRAZY? HIS ROSEWHIP OF COURSE!

Himizu: (Softly) Oh.

Ryouko: (If possible even more ballistic) OH? OH? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY, IS OH?

Himizu: Uh, sorry?

Ryouko: (buries her head in her hands) Tsk, tsk, this generation of teenage Americans, jeeze.

Himizu: Oh and I suppose you Israelis are absolute geniuses.

Ryouko: Actually we are!

Himizu: Yeah, right, whatever.

A/N: Yeah… hope you enjoyed, and now my old ideas and half-finished ideas have been collected and turned into an actual fic and I hope this was an enjoyable experience for everyone. And I hope that I've made everyone sufficiently happy while I worked on the other fanfics that I've actually had to work hard at and think about seriously.


End file.
